Remembering Mum Part II

Mother's day is coming. I personally felt neutral concerning this highly commercialised event. Its the season when the advertisements cried out for your attention. You need to "have a heart" and BUY flowers, diamonds, bags, shoes, clothes or whatever your mum fancies, from the massage to massage chairs, the delicacy, the health tonic, to the condo or holiday to appreciate her hard work of bringing you up etc.

I personally am more practical. I prefer cds to flowers. In fact, all i need is HELP with the chores and TIME OUT shopping or exercising and i will be filled to the brim with HAPPINESS and PEACE.

I remembered making much effort as a little girl, I drew a card to wish my mum HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. I cant remember what was it that I had colour penciled very well, with fine continuous strokes, a technique that I taught myself after I chanced upon it on the boxes of colour pencils in the book store. Well, I presented my mum with that card. "Aiya, what's the use of this?" she did not even looked at what i had drawn and dumped it straight in the red old pail that was the kitchen trash bin. Needless to say, I was deeply hurt, wanting much to save what was to me that beautiful effort but yet I was too adverse to picking stuff from the yucky trash bin. I was in primary school at the time of this incident and what i did, the card was actually a suggestion from the school teacher, to show our love and appreciation for our mothers.

Then, there was the ruby ring. I bought her a ruby ring when I started to work as an auditor. I did not earn much $1300 was my gross starting pay. I knew she like jewellery as she often complained she "had nothing to wear". So i saved and bought this $600 cheap ring, thinking she would be so overjoyed at the sight of it. The sales man was praising me for my "filial piety" and I was feeling great. Unfortunately, mum thought it a waste of money. She even said the ring was "Ugly" how am i going to wear it?" She just kept it for a long long time in the cupboard. Maybe that's why i am not a jewellery, real or cosmetic, person. I had long pawned the wedding jewellery for cash, I remembered for Rachel's immunisation when we were in financial difficulty then soon after she was born in 2005 and i left the bank job without the maternity compensation due to pregnancy bleeding.

Contrast that with the church i grew up in Geylang. Well, as a ladies committee leader, I was also prayer committee leader and sunday school teacher. One sunday i bought and made carnation gifts to all mums. Many thanked and hugged me. I had single-handedly prepared the flowers almost 50 of them, over night with little cards to thank and appreciate them, the mums. I did gave my mum one but she prefer lilies she said and soon that "gift" was cast aside and withered.

In the later years, we celebrated mother's day with family dinners and lots of gifts ranging from watches, diamond jewellery to bags. My mother liked it most when everyone could gather for a good family meal. Everyone especially the grand children.

Looking back, I wished my mum was more patient with me. That she would express her love for me physically and verbally. Afterall, being the eldest, I was often beaten up much for disobedience which included becoming a follower of Christ, as well as for the many faults of my siblings. I had to grow up fast and be an efficient helper be it at cooking; fetching 7 year old sister home from a near by primary school, baby sit my siblings who are only slightly younger and helping with the many endless household chores plus my dad's business as in preparing the ingredients or even as a food stall assistant after school. I was raised to be a DOer. Do this and that, checklist this and that. I still live life clearing my endless check lists both on paper and in the mind day and night. I am still learning to REST physically and also to REST in the Lord.

Now that i am a mother, I am definitely a YES mum. With my mum, before you can ask her for anything, the answer is always NO. Soon, I learnt to not ask but update her after what I had done which can be rebellion to her.

So, if I can give in, I WILL always do so to make Rachel HAPPY. I love her. I love being with her and I had taken care of her since day one when she was a helpless but cute and lovely baby. When she is naughty at times i tried not to hit her but sometimes I lose my patience and she get a smack on her still chubby thighs. Still I am a pretty much self controlled and loving mum, much more patient compared to my mother who had 4x the number of children and therefore many more times the stress!)

This Mother's Day, I commit myself to be a wonderful mum as I choose the challenging but rewarding path of home schooling Rachel. Lord I depend on you to coach her well. i believe together with Yan Rachel will be well brought up in love. She will be dearly cherished and highly favoured. Thank you Jesus for the priviledge of being her mother- the one person that will influence her the most in her life. I will do my best and enjoy it.