Guys No 1 to 5

Had planned to blog about pregnancy and birth but that's so predictable especially when I left off at "I Am Pregnant". Ha ha.

As I lay sleepless last night, I thought about all the guys that made a special mark in my life. Yes there were episodes of puppy love and things like that but I can count on just one hand the special gentlemen in my life. Thank god. (The more men the messier life becomes...ha)

The first guy i was serious with, let's call him Guy #1. Well he was a university mate from NTU Accountancy Course. I met him on a HOT sunday after church service and he was roller blading ALONE at east coast park. Unfortunately i was with a female friend, the one that would tag along wherever I go since we became church mates at 14 years of age. How INCONVENIENT!!!


GUY #1
Guy #1- is cool! He's very laid back and confident and we both were auditors at that time, our first job upon graduation. I remembered floating on cloud 9 meeting him and exchanging our business cards. I was so drawn to his tanned arm muscles which was on my eye level. (OK..I am a shortie) He's tall almost 1.8m plus the skates I need to strain my neck to look him in the eye. Haha.

The next night we were on the phone. Soon we were on the phone almost every day up to 4 hours a day. Its crazy those days phone subscription was not on a per usage basis, so we yak yak yak whole night almost every night after work after dinner. At that pre-AFC (Asian Financial Crisis)days there was no sms and msn yet. It was 1995. Gosh almost 12 years ago.

We talked about almost everything under the sun. It started with complaining about work, then hobbies etc. It was during the audit almost peak period where we cant take leave or even go on mc so we just had a tele relationship. Haha. I remember discussing topics like dating, ideal age to settle down, religion, attitudes towards marriage and raising a family even investments and insurance etc. Holiday plans etc.

We took turns to visit the loo even..So silly... its like "hey..my turn to go toilet now..hold on." We talked until the ears were so warm and my heart was so satisfied before saying good night. Sometimes work came in the way as we both need Ta Bao work home to audit or sometimes he MUST watch EPL and i will go out with my friends. Frankly I felt very comfortable with him and fell for him, especially his voice is so warm and gentlemanly. (Man fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears.....Its so true!!!! SIGH)

Our first date was on Valentine's Day the coming year. It was more of a "finally can catch up for dinner" type of situation. Previously it was all working gear stressed out lunches. He worked at Caltex House and I usually had to starve to travel from Hill Street just to see him during lunch hours. That night we dined at AL Dente Boat Quay, there were no flowers or chocolates..haha

Actually I am not the type of girl you can easily woo with flowers, chocolates, teddy bear, diamond rings, or even an apartment or a car. I want a sincere heart but I must admit I do have a weakness for music.

After the dinner we walked along the beautiful Singapore River, I was holding myself back from wanting to hug him. Haha. (I am quick to demonstrate affection type). Haha. Any way the walk did more harm than good, I suffered a strained neck talking to Mr Giraffe. But the more I was with him, the more I liked him until one fellow colleague advised against it. She was so against the "unequally yoked friendship" that she fasted lunch a few days so that God will wake me up from a potentially terrible mistake. You see I am a follower of Christ since I became a christian at 7 years of age and Guy #1, he is a atheist.

I was considering this charming guy, he was good-looking as well, but soon God pricked my heart. I sensed he wanted me to GIVE UP this friendship for good and TRUST him for a marriage partner. I was defiant initially but knew that there will be no peace unless I OBEY God. Giving up was so hard cause I had decided that he was good enough for me. (SUPER EGO!!!!) I was very fussy with men and cant stand fat ones or nerdy ones or low EQ ones. Or even those that cant hold a tune!!!!.It was a tug of war with God and guess who wins. GOD of course.

I started to avoid the guy that very guy that I need to hear his voice before i turn in for the night. If he did contact me I would say that I was busy. I felt horrible. I lost my appetite. I wanted to explain to him in person but we had not reached a point where we were "official". Its such a tough time, the first tough time in my almost very sheltered life. I had no one to confide in since the other female friend was never on par with me in terms of maturity or anything else. My family though close knit was not the type that bare our souls to each other. While i turned to God's word for comfort spiritually I also down many a beer (YUCK) to soothe the very real emotional pain. Occasionally I would talk to Guy No 1 as usual but my heart was so tortured deep within. Soon I avoided him altogether and devoted my energies to a new insurance career.

A couple of years passed. One day I get a call from him and he was inviting me to his wedding dinner. BOY!!!! I don't know why after congratulating him I spent the rest of the working day crying my heart out in the ladies. I cancelled all my sales appointments that day as I was too distraught to work. I felt I owe him an apology yet I don't know if it was appropriate at all to mention it. Deep inside I knew I kind of hurt him but I was not sure how deep?

I attended his wedding at Amara Hotel with my super glue friend. He was so suave and his wife shared the same surname as me. What a pure coincidence, my surname is pretty rare in this part of the world. The highlight of the dinner was towards the end when the bride and groom came a toasting. The YUM SAY part. He was tipsy already and as he walked to my table he cried out "Rebecca. Rebecca. Rebecca..." I cringe. And prayed that he will not say any thing more. It was a heart wrenching moment that I tried to fight back tears. Mascaras helped. I had more power to stop tearing when I wear mascaras as I cant imagine the horrible zombie look should the mascara run. Those days it was not yet water proof technology yet.

Subsequently we did chat, business like about his married life and fact that he was relocating to the land of the rising sun. I have not met him for a long long time, may be if I meet him again, I will and I must do right to offer my apologies no matter what.