It's been a rather dramatic week, the past week. Through a series of email and smses, suddenly my sister in law Sarah and her toddler Aerin,3 were here in Singapore and stayed with us throughout their 5 days. The original plan was to book a seaside chalet for their family and we could invite the entire extended families for BBQ gathering and Karaoke plus beach activities like cycling and skating. Well, its a good thing that they insisted on staying put with us as my dad was suddenly hospitalised for a few days due to a GOUT attack, and so shortly after his fishball noodle stall was re-opened. (The entire food centre had been closed for some 11 months for major renovations.)
Personally, I prefer to host when there is a proper guest room, with air-con, internet, TV video and best with room service provided for by the domestic helper. That's so ideal, isn't it??? To make do, we had housed Sarah and her kid in our favourite music room where all the precious and fragile musical instruments are, and asked God that nothing, absolutely nothing gets damaged and the very hands on kiddo will not be harmed in any way by falling music stands and whatever heavy books there are on the piano and the table. The night before their arrival we tried to "toddler proof" the place but there is only so much we can do.
Rachel was trained from a young age to handle remotes and things especially books with care. Aerin on the other hand had some "records" like peeling buttons off remotes and computers which was rather shocking to us. Our TV is barely a month old!!!!! SO is the blu-ray player, but we decided to TRUST in the Lord and leave those precious things as they gotta be, on the coffee table.
I can't relax though, with 2 more persons in the house, the chores seemed to have doubled. Instead of daily laundry its laundry (wash cum dry) twice a day so that the guests will have clothes to wear since they only brought 2 sets!!!!I usually pack a lot since I may change my mind what to wear for both myself and rachel. Then, I could not leave the dishes or cups in the sink and had to make sure there are plenty cups for the next day. Should have use the disposable ones when they are around.
In the end, they chose to sleep in the same room as us. Why???? save air con??? I don't quite know but it means sleepless nights for many days as the kid cries a few times a night, sometimes wailing out of fear or wet nappies??? I had already lost touch with such nights. Besides once Rachel was read to, prayed over, she sleeps like Sleeping Beauty till almost 930-1000am in the morning, waking only once to pee around 6pm. And oh, I've always been a light sleeper and as soon as there is noise, birds or snoring,, I wake up with goldfish eyes till the next morning.
Then came the most melodramatic part!!! On Wednesday, instead of bringing Aerin along for Rachel and my violin lessons for added exposure, we found ourselves, all 5 of us, 3 adults and 2 kids on the coach to kluang early in the morning and dashing from place to place until we finally placed the sick and suffering mother in law in a good and clean nursing home of her choice very near her home.
It's sad that things are so unpredictable. Last month she was still "thinking" that I might be pregnant since Rachel and I were joking about what to name Yan. I love "David"(David Beckham, David Garrett), she likes "Robert" (Robert pattinson) and mil thought we were thinking of a new name for the non-existent grandson.
Then news came that she fell time and time again, injured her legs and became rather lucid. She hallucinates as a result of the medication and terrified the domestic helper with stories of her long dead husband beside her on her bed, causing her to roll off the bed in fear etc It seemed her time is near, as many relatives believed along with my dad.
One relative/friend was alarmed that after chatting with her for a long time, she asked "Who are you?" "Why are you in my house?" Her sudden deterioration alarmed us and we feared a fatal fall (like my mum and her foster mum) and made the decision to place her where good care 24/7 can be given her to minimise the risk and her discomfort. It's a hefty $1300 Rm before medical expenses and we are trusting God for provision to meet this need. We will choose to believe that God had already paid all the outstanding bills, credit bills, loans and whatever and provide us with a house and a car and all the funds we need for music lessons and rachel's home education.
We returned on the same day with peace in our hearts that we had done our best. God had blessed us with parents, good or bad according to our own needs and interpretation but they cannot be with us forever. The earlier one is prepared to let go and let God, the better. My own mother endured some 4 years of chemotheraphy with all the painful ups and downs. We spent a bomb with money we don't have, risked bankruptcies, for the hope of prolonging her life and in the end, her eventual passing, considered swift and painless with all the morphine in her, and many chances of gathering the whole family together to hold her hands and watch her breathe her last. At the end, the indicators for heart rate, BP and whatever was like haywired and suddenly, her laboured breathing became less and less frequent and in an instant she became a non-living object though still warm and stiff to touch. I pray God will spare me from watching another die. It's very traumatic and those scenes lingers on in dreams for months and years.
Anyway,the next day, we managed to have a day of fun, almost like celebrating that mil is in good care, with a Singapore River cruise, some shopping and RWS where we dined at Hard Rock cafe. I think the kids suffered much too in this dramatic turn of events. Rachel, now 5, asked "Is popo dying?" She was 3 when she saw me cradle my very sick and skeletal mum's head (with a bloody white towel) as she lie in a huge and spreading pool of blood. Mum had woken up and fell on her way to the toilet I presumed while the kids and I were playing snake and ladder waiting for our dinner. When I heard the loud "THUD" I shouted "SHIT!!! and dashed to the bedroom where she had been sleeping for a long time refusing to eat and she can't eat much then. That same day, her doc told us to prepare for the worst and dad and Ron went to book the niche???"
For someone who is haemophobic, when I saw my mum though conscious in pool of fast spreading dark red blood I became hysterical and very fearful she will die in my arms while horrified and worrried that Cheryl, then 5 (Rachel's cousin that I was helping to care along with the chores) and Rachel had this A&E scene in their memories complete with paramedics and the orange ambulance stretcher.It's also double whammy that my handphone which had been behaving wildly for the past few days would shut off, refuse to start up when I need to call the ambulance. In the end I used to home phone to dial for emergency and Yan whose number was the only one I can recall in a state of shock. I was hyperventilating and praying and pleading with Jesus. It's something I NEVER want to go through ever!!!
That night we, including the terrified kids, had Yaki tori dinner at 1130pm in Changi hospital outside the A&E department. That dinner was bought earlier by my sister who did not had a chance to answer the calls or read sms from Yan telling her about my mum's fall and the ambulance on they way. She came home with the dinner and arrived at the bloody scene first hand and was totally shaken and started weeping. She had arrived before the ambulance just like in those taiwanese movies that my mother loved to watch, very drama indeed!
Thankfully, the physically and emotionally exhausting week ended on high notes with not one but two Joshua Bell concerts which will be another entry altogether.
