Yan is going to be a singaporean tomorrow. Wow so exciting, our whole family will witness the "swearing" ceremony?? at ICA. I had reservations about marrying a non citizen but God told me not to worry he will be a true Singaporean one day. YES! Cheers to greater family unity and identity. Ha
After the event, I will go for my inaugural violin lesson. Yeah!!! God is good. Been watching a few violin DVDs with yan super late night when baby is asleep. Interest growing!!!
The past week we had a computer hard disk replaced free as still under warranty and I also re configured the home line, under the singtel mio system, which was a feat for a IT goondu like me!!! Feel so proud!!
We managed to reload Rachel's pictures into the computer and BOY!!! She has grown so much so beautiful,so fast for the past 2.5 years.
I am in the process of organising the pictures but alas..Rachel is awake and WANT to play water colour.
Btw, she understands that she is the baby in those pictures! previously she just points to all the pictures and say "baby", now she says "rachel baby!" So cute.
Tuesday, 31 July 2007
Thursday, 26 July 2007
A Musical Launch
I am so happy! Finally I am about to embark on this life long journey of learning and playing music. Imagine what I always want to learn is music, much to chagrin and apathy of my parents who needed me to succeed in life meaning academic excellence.
I hated stuff like accounting, which was really boring no matter how NTU tried to market otherwise. Ya, imagine I went throught the 3 years of boring academic torture, thankfully with good friends and lots of coffee, shopping and karaoke, disco sessions and and graduated with a degree that is somewhere in one of the cabinets at home. Well, at least I understand financial statements, investing and budgeting though I always can't seem to balance any cheque book I own. Hahaha. My gifting is definitely NOT in number crunching and analysis.
Lord I really want to learn music
This has been my heart cry from ancient of days. My heart and mind are always quite keen on music and thank God, I had many musician friends in church, pianists, guitarists, drummers and singers and dancers. Ya, some of the really gifted ones compose but most compositions are so...so whether they boast of love or even exalt God much. I am talking about the musical aspect. Even the current church that we attend in a large shopping mall, well not all new compositions are really good, anointed and pleasing to the ear. Hee
After Rachel was born, and now that she is 2.5 years, the pressure and expectation for me to stop dreaming and start working is stronger. Whoever I spoke with, many would suggest, that I go find work, build a career and earn lots of money for my family. "What about your child's educational needs, retirement funds and your child's future retirement funds, you need to give them a headstart you know???" It may even sound selfish for me to pursue music, to spend money on instruments and lessons when there are other legitimate financial needs like getting a property and a car.
A common vision in marriage
Thankfully God is good. He bless me with a musician husband who had been through the same struggle. I think Yan would be so much more developed musically if he had simply refused his parents desire for him to study Architecture for 6 years when his passion for making and teaching music is so much stronger. Btw, he graduated and was on scholarship almost all his study life. So Clever!! Like I would encourage Rachel when she did right!! Any way nothing is wasted, he know more about ID, building and construction than most of us.
When I shared with him how I NEVER enjoy working life but would do well at work nevertheless, he understood. "We should always follow our heart, God wired each of us differently. We will only find true contentment when we do what we enjoy doing for a living."
Buying Musical Equipment
My first digital piano cost $2500. It came with powerful Yamaha reference speakers. This is a great asset that Yan practices late into the night with the headphones when baby and sometimes me too, had retired for the night. His latest day time TOY was the ipod which he immerses himself with really classical music when he commutes for work. He likes Horowitz, Glen Gould, Listz. and Opera I mean Mozart's opera like Le Nozzle De Figaro, Don Giovanni etc. many that I had also learnt to appreciate.
Yan's upright piano is a re-conditioned Yamaha that is more than 30 years old. The music school that he works with Harvest Music in Katong, well, they did the job so well, it looked as good as almost new and more importantly to a seasoned pianist, the quality of the sound and the touch or feel. I like it too, but I play with the soft pedal one, not wanting to disturb any neighbour with my feeble attempts.
Next year we will start serious lessons when Rachel goes to pre-nursery. Afterall, one can't play anything when she is around demanding that she be the one to tinker away. She has a cute way of imitating Daddy, playing with slow and sudden fast movements, fingers, clenched fists rotating wrists ????and all. I think she will do well musically too. Already she runs to the piano. or picks up her baby toy violin to "accompany" any music on TV, especially cartoons on Kid's central or her collection of more than 60 vcd cartoons.
Our Latest Musical Instrument
We bought a violin yesterday!! I love it. Well with limited budget, I had prayed earnestly that God would bless us with one that sounded good, had much potential that will see me through all the grades and must look good. I don't know why but i do not like red fiery wood or orangey wood. Rosewood? acadia wood??May be I had long associated it with pagan worhip altars.
My new violin teacher who also resides in the same estate, well she had grade 8 piano and graduates from Queensland Conservatory of Music with a bachelor in violin pedagogy. She is also part of a quartet that performs mostly for govermental meetings and dinners. She's only 30 I saw too that she was good with kids may be she may teach Rachel one day. Actually I prefer Rachel to start later, at her age now she need to change violin every year!! Although we can get used violins easily, we may end up house full of violins and cases. We could use them to decorate the walls of the new apartment when God blesses us with it., nevertheless! We are now asking God for a new place with enough rooms to be converted into sound proof studios that Yan can teach, rent piano studio for practice and we can each learn our craft.
Choosing my next life partner
Well, the staff at Gramercy including the boss helped me choose a violin. Its like choosing a life partner!! You need to love it, the design, and the voice. Come to think of it, I never liked men with too high voices, it irritates me and like wise, i prefer a more mellow violin sound. Its German hand made and imagine the wood was air dried 10 years before the violin was made in 2004. Being in the show room also mean that some had played it before, it matters as the voice opens up with years of regular playing. I learnt from the teacher to look out for tight grained, light weight violins. With God's favour and grace, all accessories, authenticity certificate was included at a good discount and way below our initial budget of $2500.
I love it. I can't wait for the lessons next week. When i go for the lessons in the neighbouring block Yan will play sand or water with the baby and hopefully she will grow more attached to Daddy. But more likely he will take her to the new Borders (opening in September) Parkway Parade or just play toys with her at Isetan toys department, while I practice another 30 min after lesson at home before I go meet them for lunch.
Life is good when God is in it, all the time!!
Thank you Lord Jesus!!
I hated stuff like accounting, which was really boring no matter how NTU tried to market otherwise. Ya, imagine I went throught the 3 years of boring academic torture, thankfully with good friends and lots of coffee, shopping and karaoke, disco sessions and and graduated with a degree that is somewhere in one of the cabinets at home. Well, at least I understand financial statements, investing and budgeting though I always can't seem to balance any cheque book I own. Hahaha. My gifting is definitely NOT in number crunching and analysis.
Lord I really want to learn music
This has been my heart cry from ancient of days. My heart and mind are always quite keen on music and thank God, I had many musician friends in church, pianists, guitarists, drummers and singers and dancers. Ya, some of the really gifted ones compose but most compositions are so...so whether they boast of love or even exalt God much. I am talking about the musical aspect. Even the current church that we attend in a large shopping mall, well not all new compositions are really good, anointed and pleasing to the ear. Hee
After Rachel was born, and now that she is 2.5 years, the pressure and expectation for me to stop dreaming and start working is stronger. Whoever I spoke with, many would suggest, that I go find work, build a career and earn lots of money for my family. "What about your child's educational needs, retirement funds and your child's future retirement funds, you need to give them a headstart you know???" It may even sound selfish for me to pursue music, to spend money on instruments and lessons when there are other legitimate financial needs like getting a property and a car.
A common vision in marriage
Thankfully God is good. He bless me with a musician husband who had been through the same struggle. I think Yan would be so much more developed musically if he had simply refused his parents desire for him to study Architecture for 6 years when his passion for making and teaching music is so much stronger. Btw, he graduated and was on scholarship almost all his study life. So Clever!! Like I would encourage Rachel when she did right!! Any way nothing is wasted, he know more about ID, building and construction than most of us.
When I shared with him how I NEVER enjoy working life but would do well at work nevertheless, he understood. "We should always follow our heart, God wired each of us differently. We will only find true contentment when we do what we enjoy doing for a living."
Buying Musical Equipment
My first digital piano cost $2500. It came with powerful Yamaha reference speakers. This is a great asset that Yan practices late into the night with the headphones when baby and sometimes me too, had retired for the night. His latest day time TOY was the ipod which he immerses himself with really classical music when he commutes for work. He likes Horowitz, Glen Gould, Listz. and Opera I mean Mozart's opera like Le Nozzle De Figaro, Don Giovanni etc. many that I had also learnt to appreciate.
Yan's upright piano is a re-conditioned Yamaha that is more than 30 years old. The music school that he works with Harvest Music in Katong, well, they did the job so well, it looked as good as almost new and more importantly to a seasoned pianist, the quality of the sound and the touch or feel. I like it too, but I play with the soft pedal one, not wanting to disturb any neighbour with my feeble attempts.
Next year we will start serious lessons when Rachel goes to pre-nursery. Afterall, one can't play anything when she is around demanding that she be the one to tinker away. She has a cute way of imitating Daddy, playing with slow and sudden fast movements, fingers, clenched fists rotating wrists ????and all. I think she will do well musically too. Already she runs to the piano. or picks up her baby toy violin to "accompany" any music on TV, especially cartoons on Kid's central or her collection of more than 60 vcd cartoons.
Our Latest Musical Instrument
We bought a violin yesterday!! I love it. Well with limited budget, I had prayed earnestly that God would bless us with one that sounded good, had much potential that will see me through all the grades and must look good. I don't know why but i do not like red fiery wood or orangey wood. Rosewood? acadia wood??May be I had long associated it with pagan worhip altars.
My new violin teacher who also resides in the same estate, well she had grade 8 piano and graduates from Queensland Conservatory of Music with a bachelor in violin pedagogy. She is also part of a quartet that performs mostly for govermental meetings and dinners. She's only 30 I saw too that she was good with kids may be she may teach Rachel one day. Actually I prefer Rachel to start later, at her age now she need to change violin every year!! Although we can get used violins easily, we may end up house full of violins and cases. We could use them to decorate the walls of the new apartment when God blesses us with it., nevertheless! We are now asking God for a new place with enough rooms to be converted into sound proof studios that Yan can teach, rent piano studio for practice and we can each learn our craft.
Choosing my next life partner
Well, the staff at Gramercy including the boss helped me choose a violin. Its like choosing a life partner!! You need to love it, the design, and the voice. Come to think of it, I never liked men with too high voices, it irritates me and like wise, i prefer a more mellow violin sound. Its German hand made and imagine the wood was air dried 10 years before the violin was made in 2004. Being in the show room also mean that some had played it before, it matters as the voice opens up with years of regular playing. I learnt from the teacher to look out for tight grained, light weight violins. With God's favour and grace, all accessories, authenticity certificate was included at a good discount and way below our initial budget of $2500.
I love it. I can't wait for the lessons next week. When i go for the lessons in the neighbouring block Yan will play sand or water with the baby and hopefully she will grow more attached to Daddy. But more likely he will take her to the new Borders (opening in September) Parkway Parade or just play toys with her at Isetan toys department, while I practice another 30 min after lesson at home before I go meet them for lunch.
Life is good when God is in it, all the time!!
Thank you Lord Jesus!!
Tuesday, 24 July 2007
Babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ONE IS ENOUGH
Yan told me today someone we know is into her 4th pregnancy!!!! Frankly, we are HORRIFIED!!!! WHY WOULD PEOPLE LIKE TO GIVE BIRTH SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! For us one is ENOUGH!!!! In fact when someone asked us on that silly auspicious 07072007 in a church wedding when we will be having No 2, we both exclaimed "No way!!!! One is MORE THAN ENOUGH!!!!"
During our pre-marital counselling the magic number was 4, well i was thinking my mum had 4 kids and yelled and spanked all of us whenever we fought and anyway my dad managed to raise all of us through university with his food stall income. He even supported his previous wife and kids, alimony. ( I was taken along to subordinate courts when i was a kid and witnessed him sighing (not just signing) away pieces of yellow receipts at the counter that was at my eye level). Similarly he sent piles of goods (TV, BIKE) and money to his siblings in China when China was not yet an open economy. Now that China is one of the world's biggest and strongest economy, sadly, the favours were not reciprocated. May be that's why I never like CHINA. I felt robbed of more material possessions when we were kids. Imagine if there was no need to sponsor these China relatives, I would be able to learn music. It's the last place on earth that i would want to visit and like wise I was not keen to purchase cheap china made goods including violins.
Motherhood is so very tough!!!!
So you think pregnancy was tough??? boy!!! What is the few kgs that you carry within you??? After the kid is 2, almost 10-20kg later, the carrying continues!! Thankfully Rachel now walks on her own including up and down stairs and buses BUT she still naps on my shoulder when we are out shopping in the afternoon.BTW, she refused to sleep in the stroller!!! I looked like the hunch back of Notre Dame now, standing straight posture wise HURTS!!! After massages I will be ok but I think until she stop nursing and needing me not daddy to carry her, the backaches will persist. Its the upper back, the spine, or may be its due to BIGGER BREASTS, as I often heard similar complains from those that are really well endowned. I definitely prefer small breasts, like that of a ballerina. That's elegant.
Well, after the baby was born, all the pregnancy complaints seemed NOTHING!!! What is migraine, back ache, Odema (water retention) stretch marks (thank God i hardly have those), nausea???? They were being replaced with caesarean pain, breast engorgement pain, and more sleepless nights. I never thought i will have a caesarean birth let alone an emergency one. Through out the pregnancy Rachel was growing well save for one episode of bleeding as I was standing long hours working in the bank. Her position was right too, head down when I was 39 weeks. My blood pressure everything was normal the only thing was she was past her expected due date 01012005. Each day from Christmas 2004, I waited and waited, counting the endless baby movements and charting them. I still shopped a lot as a good enjoyable form of exercise and walked along the beach praying for the unborn child, at the same time I also worried that the water bag would burst and I might look most undignified in a shopping mall surrounded by curious by standers. Imagine giving birth shopping!!! GASP!!! or in a cab!! GASP!!
Well, it happened to my banking colleague a few months earlier when she was 8.5 months pregnant, on her way to antenatal check up, in a HDB carpark, she felt someone pour warm water from behind between her legs. Her husband thought she passed urine and asked why can't she wait, she was trembling!! However, this boy did not come out until almost 2 days later in the hospital.
Well Christmas came and went, then the great Tsunami 2004 on Boxing day and I pleaded with God "Pls do not let Rachel be born on this sad and horrible day." Then on her due date I saw Evelyn Tan, Mediacorp artiste, ex church member, with her new born on TV. She had married exactly 2 weeks after us.
Giving Birth the Traumatic Way
My gynae was eager to induce the overdued Rachel due to tight travel arrangements, so on midnight 03012005 we went into Raffles Hospital with much excitement and fear. In the delivery suite, we were watching on CNA, the death toll of the Tsunami. We are not supersitious, but every channel, there were headlines, bottomlines that update one on the latest death toll. Apart from that, and praying much, I was very bored waiting for the moment of birth until the nurse prepared my left hand for the drip, OUCH..that's so painful.."Pls don't let me suffer pain Lord...give me the shortest. most pain free birth pls!" I was also worried that there would be too much blood. One friend told me when his wife gave birth the smell of fresh blood lingered in the delivery room.
Up to this point I do not yet experience any contractions. All 4 previous check ups showed that while my baby's head was engaged, my cervix was still shut tight. There was no sign that birth was near even though we were past the due date. After one sleepless night, I had mini contractions, actually it felt more like the baby was moving and there was not enough space for her to twist and turn. All this while Yan slept on the couch. He is one relax guy!!
The next morning, when the gynae saw the charts, he suggested breaking the waters to speed up the contractions. When he took the long almost half metre long needle, I almost fainted. Any way there was no pain when he insert the needle to prick the water bag. In fact within split-seconds very warm fluid flowed out and the baby writhe inside simultaneously. My body was trembling much. At the same time the baby heart monitor was beeping disturbingly loud distress signals.. Before I know what was happening, I heard the gynae yelled "C section NOW!!!" He later explained after the baby was born that there was cord prolapse, or in lay man's terms the cord was around the baby's neck, strangling her causing the baby to be in distress!
I was shoved a piece of paper to sign, i caught.."hospital not liable for...." BOY that was the most stressful moment in my life, I signed something I had to and there was no time to read the conditions. This being my first hospital stay in my life made me extra fearful. I was sped down shivering away from my husband and the lights moving so fast above my head and the loud commotion made me giddy. Within minutes I had an oxygen mask on and was asked to count to 3. I remembered shivering in the cold spacious theatre (this is not the theatre I am familiar with) it was so spacious with green curtains and metal tables every where. I saw my gynae dressed in surgical gear and I past out after 2 counts! The first time I lost consciousness!
After the Operation
I was drifting in and out of consciousness and I felt someone slapped my cheek gently trying to wake me. I tried to open my eyes! I can't. It was almost another 90min later when I opened my eyes, actually I had lens on still to see the birth, I saw Yan and a friend. I noticed my tummy was visibly much smaller and yuck, I had a urine bag with bloody urine and a drip with morphine i think that made me feel rather high and super happy. In fact according to Yan I was smiling. I saw much later that on picture I looked like I had been ran over by a truck. My lower abodmen was NUMB. I did not see my baby until after lunch time.
First Impressions
My first impression of Rachel was she is very beautiful, not crumpy alien like which some new borns are. She even smiled at us. As I was on drugs I did not breast feed her until 3 days later. Her cries were gentle but that quickly changed when she was home!! The hospital menu was A class. We were so well fed. BTW, when yan saw the baby, she was cleaned and wrapped in a white towel, nothing bloody or gooey about our princess!! The maternity ward nurses were friendly and helpful and when rachel was subsequently admitted for bronchities and rota virus, they remembered us and doted on our kid.
Going Home and Hell after that
Bringing your bundle of joy home should be most joyous an event. However, ours was marred by my MIL. We had repeatedly asked her not to visit from Malaysia until the baby was older, well she insisted eager to meet her first grandkid. We met at the hospital entrance and took the cab back.The trip was pleasant. Then to our horror, in front of our white door, in her usual loud voice, she exclaimed to the baby in my arms "You are so UGLY". I was so taken aback, I could almost slap her if not for my relationship with Abba God and the painful c scar. Yan questioned her "Ma, How can you say that!!!" twice sounding hurt as well. Just a moment ago an Ang Mo had cooed the baby and commented on her beauty in the elevator. Later we learnt that she meant good and the opposite but frankly we both hoped she had been wiser with her words.
Confinement Indeed
My gynae was against the "unhygienic" traditional month long confinement where the new mums refrained from bathing, even touching water or shampooing their hair. Personally, the idea was too stinky for us to accept too. When I was in university, an ex church mate I visited during her first week confinement had tiny flies buzzing about her super oily locks and boy, she was such a stinker that her hubby slept on the sofa in the living room. I was prepared to care for my precious new born alone peacefully despite the post surgery pain while yan resume his work otherwise there would be no income. Of course I still washed my long locks daily and bathe twice daily much to the chagrin of the traditional elderly. I was breast-feeding, I must be clean. What was she thinking???
However, sadly, MIL with her uncalled for nagging and nagging and insisting on this and that, robbed me of much peace. She also had a sarcastic way of scorning my breast feeding attempts, I mean each time the baby cried she has some thing negative to say about the kid or me. I would hide in my room all day reading the papers, bible and sleeping while she blast the Mandarin TV programmes in the living room. Needless to say, her stay, meant to be 3 days initally was not at all welcomed. She added much stress. I cannot understand why she would insist I bend down or reach up the cupboards risking tearing my newly stitched scar to fetch her this pot or that ingredient in the fridge which she can't reach due to her parkinson illness, so she may prepare herbal supplement which both yan and I do not like and would pour away evenutally. We already told her countless times that we hate herbal stuff!! "She never listens", my husband would sigh.
The last straw came when I asked her when she would return as Yan need to get her the return rail tickets. She took offense and said I was chasing her outof the house. Later she called a friend or relation at the balcony and dramatised everything. I heard her say her daughter in law threatened to chase her out with a broom. Now there was not a single broom in my new home. And the way she dramatise it it made me looked like very evil indeed. I called Yan and my sister both understood my situation and came to my rescue.
Thank God Jesus knew the facts and my conscience is clear. My eyes were opened too. It became clear to me that I should NEVER stay in the same house as MIL, clearly, it was easy for her to distort the facts. I saw she was someone who compromises on integrity especially when she became a very different person when Yan is around. Add to that the loud, continous nagging and nagging that robs us of PEACE!!! We are both peace loving creatures and Yan had to remind his mum often not to treat him like a child often.
Eventually she left for her home. We had peace again, much beloved, much cherished Peace until she visits every now and then.
Conclusion
I felt I had done my national duty of pro creation.
Having our princess was very costly indeed. More than 10K in the first year!
Its ok that she is the only child she have so many cousins born in the same year and one on the way soon. If she is lonely with no one to play( read fight) with, let her then play with us, on the piano or violin.I rather channel whatever remaining energy and time I have left developing musically. In fact next week I will start my violin lessons inspired by David Garrett lovingly encouraged by my music teacher spouse. Afterall, who would want a repeat of the traumatic birth or so called confinement period.
Yan told me today someone we know is into her 4th pregnancy!!!! Frankly, we are HORRIFIED!!!! WHY WOULD PEOPLE LIKE TO GIVE BIRTH SOOOOOO MUCH!!!!! For us one is ENOUGH!!!! In fact when someone asked us on that silly auspicious 07072007 in a church wedding when we will be having No 2, we both exclaimed "No way!!!! One is MORE THAN ENOUGH!!!!"
During our pre-marital counselling the magic number was 4, well i was thinking my mum had 4 kids and yelled and spanked all of us whenever we fought and anyway my dad managed to raise all of us through university with his food stall income. He even supported his previous wife and kids, alimony. ( I was taken along to subordinate courts when i was a kid and witnessed him sighing (not just signing) away pieces of yellow receipts at the counter that was at my eye level). Similarly he sent piles of goods (TV, BIKE) and money to his siblings in China when China was not yet an open economy. Now that China is one of the world's biggest and strongest economy, sadly, the favours were not reciprocated. May be that's why I never like CHINA. I felt robbed of more material possessions when we were kids. Imagine if there was no need to sponsor these China relatives, I would be able to learn music. It's the last place on earth that i would want to visit and like wise I was not keen to purchase cheap china made goods including violins.
Motherhood is so very tough!!!!
So you think pregnancy was tough??? boy!!! What is the few kgs that you carry within you??? After the kid is 2, almost 10-20kg later, the carrying continues!! Thankfully Rachel now walks on her own including up and down stairs and buses BUT she still naps on my shoulder when we are out shopping in the afternoon.BTW, she refused to sleep in the stroller!!! I looked like the hunch back of Notre Dame now, standing straight posture wise HURTS!!! After massages I will be ok but I think until she stop nursing and needing me not daddy to carry her, the backaches will persist. Its the upper back, the spine, or may be its due to BIGGER BREASTS, as I often heard similar complains from those that are really well endowned. I definitely prefer small breasts, like that of a ballerina. That's elegant.
Well, after the baby was born, all the pregnancy complaints seemed NOTHING!!! What is migraine, back ache, Odema (water retention) stretch marks (thank God i hardly have those), nausea???? They were being replaced with caesarean pain, breast engorgement pain, and more sleepless nights. I never thought i will have a caesarean birth let alone an emergency one. Through out the pregnancy Rachel was growing well save for one episode of bleeding as I was standing long hours working in the bank. Her position was right too, head down when I was 39 weeks. My blood pressure everything was normal the only thing was she was past her expected due date 01012005. Each day from Christmas 2004, I waited and waited, counting the endless baby movements and charting them. I still shopped a lot as a good enjoyable form of exercise and walked along the beach praying for the unborn child, at the same time I also worried that the water bag would burst and I might look most undignified in a shopping mall surrounded by curious by standers. Imagine giving birth shopping!!! GASP!!! or in a cab!! GASP!!
Well, it happened to my banking colleague a few months earlier when she was 8.5 months pregnant, on her way to antenatal check up, in a HDB carpark, she felt someone pour warm water from behind between her legs. Her husband thought she passed urine and asked why can't she wait, she was trembling!! However, this boy did not come out until almost 2 days later in the hospital.
Well Christmas came and went, then the great Tsunami 2004 on Boxing day and I pleaded with God "Pls do not let Rachel be born on this sad and horrible day." Then on her due date I saw Evelyn Tan, Mediacorp artiste, ex church member, with her new born on TV. She had married exactly 2 weeks after us.
Giving Birth the Traumatic Way
My gynae was eager to induce the overdued Rachel due to tight travel arrangements, so on midnight 03012005 we went into Raffles Hospital with much excitement and fear. In the delivery suite, we were watching on CNA, the death toll of the Tsunami. We are not supersitious, but every channel, there were headlines, bottomlines that update one on the latest death toll. Apart from that, and praying much, I was very bored waiting for the moment of birth until the nurse prepared my left hand for the drip, OUCH..that's so painful.."Pls don't let me suffer pain Lord...give me the shortest. most pain free birth pls!" I was also worried that there would be too much blood. One friend told me when his wife gave birth the smell of fresh blood lingered in the delivery room.
Up to this point I do not yet experience any contractions. All 4 previous check ups showed that while my baby's head was engaged, my cervix was still shut tight. There was no sign that birth was near even though we were past the due date. After one sleepless night, I had mini contractions, actually it felt more like the baby was moving and there was not enough space for her to twist and turn. All this while Yan slept on the couch. He is one relax guy!!
The next morning, when the gynae saw the charts, he suggested breaking the waters to speed up the contractions. When he took the long almost half metre long needle, I almost fainted. Any way there was no pain when he insert the needle to prick the water bag. In fact within split-seconds very warm fluid flowed out and the baby writhe inside simultaneously. My body was trembling much. At the same time the baby heart monitor was beeping disturbingly loud distress signals.. Before I know what was happening, I heard the gynae yelled "C section NOW!!!" He later explained after the baby was born that there was cord prolapse, or in lay man's terms the cord was around the baby's neck, strangling her causing the baby to be in distress!
I was shoved a piece of paper to sign, i caught.."hospital not liable for...." BOY that was the most stressful moment in my life, I signed something I had to and there was no time to read the conditions. This being my first hospital stay in my life made me extra fearful. I was sped down shivering away from my husband and the lights moving so fast above my head and the loud commotion made me giddy. Within minutes I had an oxygen mask on and was asked to count to 3. I remembered shivering in the cold spacious theatre (this is not the theatre I am familiar with) it was so spacious with green curtains and metal tables every where. I saw my gynae dressed in surgical gear and I past out after 2 counts! The first time I lost consciousness!
After the Operation
I was drifting in and out of consciousness and I felt someone slapped my cheek gently trying to wake me. I tried to open my eyes! I can't. It was almost another 90min later when I opened my eyes, actually I had lens on still to see the birth, I saw Yan and a friend. I noticed my tummy was visibly much smaller and yuck, I had a urine bag with bloody urine and a drip with morphine i think that made me feel rather high and super happy. In fact according to Yan I was smiling. I saw much later that on picture I looked like I had been ran over by a truck. My lower abodmen was NUMB. I did not see my baby until after lunch time.
First Impressions
My first impression of Rachel was she is very beautiful, not crumpy alien like which some new borns are. She even smiled at us. As I was on drugs I did not breast feed her until 3 days later. Her cries were gentle but that quickly changed when she was home!! The hospital menu was A class. We were so well fed. BTW, when yan saw the baby, she was cleaned and wrapped in a white towel, nothing bloody or gooey about our princess!! The maternity ward nurses were friendly and helpful and when rachel was subsequently admitted for bronchities and rota virus, they remembered us and doted on our kid.
Going Home and Hell after that
Bringing your bundle of joy home should be most joyous an event. However, ours was marred by my MIL. We had repeatedly asked her not to visit from Malaysia until the baby was older, well she insisted eager to meet her first grandkid. We met at the hospital entrance and took the cab back.The trip was pleasant. Then to our horror, in front of our white door, in her usual loud voice, she exclaimed to the baby in my arms "You are so UGLY". I was so taken aback, I could almost slap her if not for my relationship with Abba God and the painful c scar. Yan questioned her "Ma, How can you say that!!!" twice sounding hurt as well. Just a moment ago an Ang Mo had cooed the baby and commented on her beauty in the elevator. Later we learnt that she meant good and the opposite but frankly we both hoped she had been wiser with her words.
Confinement Indeed
My gynae was against the "unhygienic" traditional month long confinement where the new mums refrained from bathing, even touching water or shampooing their hair. Personally, the idea was too stinky for us to accept too. When I was in university, an ex church mate I visited during her first week confinement had tiny flies buzzing about her super oily locks and boy, she was such a stinker that her hubby slept on the sofa in the living room. I was prepared to care for my precious new born alone peacefully despite the post surgery pain while yan resume his work otherwise there would be no income. Of course I still washed my long locks daily and bathe twice daily much to the chagrin of the traditional elderly. I was breast-feeding, I must be clean. What was she thinking???
However, sadly, MIL with her uncalled for nagging and nagging and insisting on this and that, robbed me of much peace. She also had a sarcastic way of scorning my breast feeding attempts, I mean each time the baby cried she has some thing negative to say about the kid or me. I would hide in my room all day reading the papers, bible and sleeping while she blast the Mandarin TV programmes in the living room. Needless to say, her stay, meant to be 3 days initally was not at all welcomed. She added much stress. I cannot understand why she would insist I bend down or reach up the cupboards risking tearing my newly stitched scar to fetch her this pot or that ingredient in the fridge which she can't reach due to her parkinson illness, so she may prepare herbal supplement which both yan and I do not like and would pour away evenutally. We already told her countless times that we hate herbal stuff!! "She never listens", my husband would sigh.
The last straw came when I asked her when she would return as Yan need to get her the return rail tickets. She took offense and said I was chasing her outof the house. Later she called a friend or relation at the balcony and dramatised everything. I heard her say her daughter in law threatened to chase her out with a broom. Now there was not a single broom in my new home. And the way she dramatise it it made me looked like very evil indeed. I called Yan and my sister both understood my situation and came to my rescue.
Thank God Jesus knew the facts and my conscience is clear. My eyes were opened too. It became clear to me that I should NEVER stay in the same house as MIL, clearly, it was easy for her to distort the facts. I saw she was someone who compromises on integrity especially when she became a very different person when Yan is around. Add to that the loud, continous nagging and nagging that robs us of PEACE!!! We are both peace loving creatures and Yan had to remind his mum often not to treat him like a child often.
Eventually she left for her home. We had peace again, much beloved, much cherished Peace until she visits every now and then.
Conclusion
I felt I had done my national duty of pro creation.
Having our princess was very costly indeed. More than 10K in the first year!
Its ok that she is the only child she have so many cousins born in the same year and one on the way soon. If she is lonely with no one to play( read fight) with, let her then play with us, on the piano or violin.I rather channel whatever remaining energy and time I have left developing musically. In fact next week I will start my violin lessons inspired by David Garrett lovingly encouraged by my music teacher spouse. Afterall, who would want a repeat of the traumatic birth or so called confinement period.
Tuesday, 10 July 2007
A Musical Journey
I've always wanted to play music. As far back as I can remember, whenever there was a piano or keyboard at a school mate's place, I would find myself tinkering with the black and white keys and begging my friends to teach me a tune or two. Sadly, most uprights had gone off key with neglect and few showed much enthusiasm for learning the piano.
When we were much younger, my mum would often take us to visit her grand aunt, a christian that lives in joo Chiat. Each visit I find myself playing on the very old upright which was in need of tuning as well, only to be "scolded" by my mum. "Don't touch the piano, you'll spoil it.." Her voice still vivid in my memories. So I kind of grew up thinking I may damage a musical instrument and was very careful with my digital pianos and keyboards, not daring to venture much unless i first read the manual, which I do so I may max out the equipment.
When I asked my mum to let me learn the piano, her answer was always "NO". Her main reason was that our family was not rich enough to spend on such things and if I were to do music, I would not study. Actually, she may be right, because even as a kid, I was not very fond of studying. I would excel in exams and enrol in top schools and then university only to please my parents. They never fail to remind me that as the eldest, I must be a good example, and that if I cannot make it to university, my siblings may choose not to. Discipline in our Teochew family was usually top down and my grandma would often hit me for the mistakes of my siblings especially my sister's. My brother's mischief were often overlooked as boys were clearly unapologetically favourited.
What to study
"I WANT to learn music. I WANT to play the piano" was my heart cry for the longest time. This urge to express my feelings in music would nag me every now and then especially when I never liked what I studied. Growing up there were not much choices. My mother, would recite 6423 to me often as we sat in a small round table to do the primary school homework, often with a cane or 2-3 canes tied up on the table as well. She would cane the table if we speak unneccessarily or wander off to play when it was time to STUDY. Now 6423 was not some magical 4D number but a reminder that after 6 years of primary education, one has to go through 4 years of secondary education , then 2 years of college and then at least 3 years of university. My parents wanted me to be a Doctor or Lawyer or Accountant. To them teaching and the arts had no future.
My grades were good enough for medicine but I did not study biology. I was put off by the biology open house when the teacher dissected a cute froggy in front of me and ordered me to pin the collapsing lungs. God the frog thighs looked like woman's thighs, white and smooth and though i was not that afraid then, I had recurrent nightmares that scared the hell out of me. Needless to say, I never ate frog legs. My mum had pre-university education and she told me she wanted to be a doctor. She loved to dissect animals, insects and once did a bunny that had many bunnies inside. GOSH!!!!!How cruel!! Those days opportunities to study were limited to the well off, there were no bursaries or scholarships. She went on to learn nursing at TCM shop until she met and married my dad.
Lawyer. That's out for me. I am too peace-loving a being to win at arguments. I am not quarrelsome in nature and would 100% give in for PEACE. When I became a christian, my family was against me and sure it felt like hell when your own blood relations treated you like an alien. For 3 years I was not able to attend church services. My mum would screen my phone calls and destroy my mail and threw away my bibles. (As a result I bought 2-3 bibles for every one that was thrown away). My brother was even sent to spy me and make sure I do not step into a church. Thank God, once I go to JC, church was every where, I was zealous attending bible studies in school campus and also did bible study mail correspondence with my first ex-church. I was baptised on 30 mar 1990, when i was in school uniform at a small church in Moulmein Rd. Like wise for PEACE, i moved out to stay alone at a friend's pre-renovated vacant Bishan flat for 10 months. Also likewise I did not had a CHURCH WEDDING for the sake of having peaceful relations.
So the last choice available, Accountancy seemed acceptable. I did commerce in college and with much tuition and after dropping my interested english literature, I managed to excel in A levels to study Accountancy. It was boring and really DRY! I hated the lessons. I wanted to change to Business and I went to see the Dean. The Dean thought it was strange as my results were good, " Try another year in accountancy or you have to start from Business first year" He advised me and my mum. That was the inflexibility then. My parents thought I was foolish to want to change course of study and waste a year. Afterall, they were putting their HOPES in me to quickly graduate in 3 years time and help support the family as my twin brothers and sister were all going to university in 3 years time and finances was really TIGHT. I struggled. I Passed. I went to see the Dean again in year 2 and this time he was really Mean. "Only one year to go girl, come on, don't waste my time and yours" He said sarcastically. So off I go and struggled and passed and graduated. I studied smart. I used my mother's methodology and it worked wonders.
How to study SMART
My parents especially my mum who was considered highly educated started to teach me writing both English and Mandarin and counting before i even attended Kindergarten. In fact I was well taught in my foundation as she enrolled me a year too early so I kind of repeated K1, of course now they have K1 and K2 for me it was K1 repeat K1 as too young for primary 1. She was always getting assessment books ahead for her children to do. I remembered doing primary 3 assessment when I was in primary 2 and by secondary school i had tuition to make sure Grades B become A. When i did well in CA or SA I was often rewarded with $. Up to university, I was given $500 per subject i got an A. In secondary school i had a wind fall of $400 for 8 As at $ 50 each and i got myself a walkman and a pager, I was the most technologically advanced student in gadgets. Hee
Well, before i started Accountancy at NTU, during orientation, I bought tutorials and lecture notes from my orientation group leader for $200. Every year, i would read his tutorials and study notes before i attend lectures and guess what??? almost 90% of the time, the questions were similar if not exact. This also made me feel disgusted with these university lecturers, who were paid so much. One law tutor left his most recent pay slip in a book which he loan to me. $10000 + OH GOD. So overpaid and under worked. What a waste of tax payers money!
Prayer Helps
When i was baptised, my mum confronted my church pastor. She was reported to be really upset and fearful that I would go ahead and be a nun and not study hard anymore. Later that day, a sister in christ, mother of 3 boys came to counsel me. She advised that since my mum's main worry was my studies and getting into university, I should all the more study harder, and glorify God and honour my parents with my results and if this was hard, asked Jesus to help you, Pray. I did. I prayed each time I had to do economics, C maths and priniciples of accounting as it was so boring numerically, I day dreamed often not so much of boys but shopping. Often my mind would go on a virtual window shop up escalators even to "buy" something I really liked!
Like Carrie Underwood's song, Jesus Take the Wheel, Christ propelled my studies to university and helped me graduate in 1995. (Afterall, I was among the embarassing few that need to re-take supplementary papers or face explusion each academic year.I even had to re do 2 papers after my Europe trip) Thank God I graduated. The stress I had gone through still haunts me occasionally in nightmares. After 12 years I still dream that I did not pass the re take papers and need to tell my parents I might be expelled from Accountancy. GOSH! It was so horrifying.
Musical Cross Roads
At the back of my mind I always wish i could study what I like. I love music. I love to sing and I love to dance. I always want to learn to make music. Each time this ancient longing would nag me, HEY, why am I wasting time studying what I don't like. But the dilemna was I was good at doing what I did not like so much that to move into what I like is a BIG step into the unknown. Yes there were times that I wanted to be a musician, a singer, a model but my conservative family would not be able to take it and modelling???I stopped growing at 1.57 cm..SIGH. I even had an elite model T shirt which I wore unashamedly for 15 years until it finally fell apart. Many a times I wished my parents would understand my passion and let me study music instead of going to university and graduate with a piece of paper certifying that I was good in a subject that I had no interest in at all.
My fault was I am very limited in being rebellious and often empathise with the "oppressors" I knew I must please my parents or there would be no peace and even love. I did auditing for almost 2 years and I dragged myself to work once the honey moon season of doing something new was over. I switched at a high cost of breaking a bond to selling insurance. Now being a sales person was quite a natural thing for me except that I was not that motivated by monetary perks than "my own leisure time to do what I want."
When I was an agent, my sales were among the top few even but the satisfaction was only temporary. Yes, there were the big deal highs but also long periods of low too. I worked for free as a church volunteer for half a week 3 years so that my poor pastor can do the leading and visioning, not the bulletin, lesson plans, typing sermons etc. It was my GIFT of time for God. My national duty. In turn God gave me opportunties to learn about church music, to select worship songs, to type the lyrics etc. I particularly loved the free time to learn piano, self taught with the chord book or even some group lessons that I attended to learn a little about making music.
When I share with the privilege few that my dream was to make music. Many would consider it a waste of the accountancy degree. My church pastor even said I was "Too old" for such dreams and must be realistic. Actually hardly anyone supported my dream. So in the mean time I frequent disco, pubs, karaokes and even pop concerts to enjoy the music. I gave up asking my parents as I knew they would flip backwards.
It was only when I was serving in the music ministry of my 2nd church that I received some form of vocal training and I was exposed to band music and choir and had many musician friends. Yan (Guy #5) was a musical buddy that encouraged me to pursue my dreams and subsequently he did give up his Masters in Architecture for the passion of teaching piano music.
What is ahead
Now that I had achieved motherhood and I felt my "national duty" of procreation was done with with Princess Rachel. I really want to do what I want in life. Afterall, I am going to be 35, almost half of my life was over and this NEXT half is going to be a BETTER half because I DARE to DO what GOD had put in my heart to do, to learn music. I will continue my music journey with piano and violin till the day I return to my Creator God. And of course, I would not mind at all if rachel wants to drop her studies to do music. Her parents with 3 unused degrees fully understand that the call of music and the pursuit of it is a Lifetime Journey and that until one answers that call, there would be no inner PEACE and real SATISFACTION in life.
When we were much younger, my mum would often take us to visit her grand aunt, a christian that lives in joo Chiat. Each visit I find myself playing on the very old upright which was in need of tuning as well, only to be "scolded" by my mum. "Don't touch the piano, you'll spoil it.." Her voice still vivid in my memories. So I kind of grew up thinking I may damage a musical instrument and was very careful with my digital pianos and keyboards, not daring to venture much unless i first read the manual, which I do so I may max out the equipment.
When I asked my mum to let me learn the piano, her answer was always "NO". Her main reason was that our family was not rich enough to spend on such things and if I were to do music, I would not study. Actually, she may be right, because even as a kid, I was not very fond of studying. I would excel in exams and enrol in top schools and then university only to please my parents. They never fail to remind me that as the eldest, I must be a good example, and that if I cannot make it to university, my siblings may choose not to. Discipline in our Teochew family was usually top down and my grandma would often hit me for the mistakes of my siblings especially my sister's. My brother's mischief were often overlooked as boys were clearly unapologetically favourited.
What to study
"I WANT to learn music. I WANT to play the piano" was my heart cry for the longest time. This urge to express my feelings in music would nag me every now and then especially when I never liked what I studied. Growing up there were not much choices. My mother, would recite 6423 to me often as we sat in a small round table to do the primary school homework, often with a cane or 2-3 canes tied up on the table as well. She would cane the table if we speak unneccessarily or wander off to play when it was time to STUDY. Now 6423 was not some magical 4D number but a reminder that after 6 years of primary education, one has to go through 4 years of secondary education , then 2 years of college and then at least 3 years of university. My parents wanted me to be a Doctor or Lawyer or Accountant. To them teaching and the arts had no future.
My grades were good enough for medicine but I did not study biology. I was put off by the biology open house when the teacher dissected a cute froggy in front of me and ordered me to pin the collapsing lungs. God the frog thighs looked like woman's thighs, white and smooth and though i was not that afraid then, I had recurrent nightmares that scared the hell out of me. Needless to say, I never ate frog legs. My mum had pre-university education and she told me she wanted to be a doctor. She loved to dissect animals, insects and once did a bunny that had many bunnies inside. GOSH!!!!!How cruel!! Those days opportunities to study were limited to the well off, there were no bursaries or scholarships. She went on to learn nursing at TCM shop until she met and married my dad.
Lawyer. That's out for me. I am too peace-loving a being to win at arguments. I am not quarrelsome in nature and would 100% give in for PEACE. When I became a christian, my family was against me and sure it felt like hell when your own blood relations treated you like an alien. For 3 years I was not able to attend church services. My mum would screen my phone calls and destroy my mail and threw away my bibles. (As a result I bought 2-3 bibles for every one that was thrown away). My brother was even sent to spy me and make sure I do not step into a church. Thank God, once I go to JC, church was every where, I was zealous attending bible studies in school campus and also did bible study mail correspondence with my first ex-church. I was baptised on 30 mar 1990, when i was in school uniform at a small church in Moulmein Rd. Like wise for PEACE, i moved out to stay alone at a friend's pre-renovated vacant Bishan flat for 10 months. Also likewise I did not had a CHURCH WEDDING for the sake of having peaceful relations.
So the last choice available, Accountancy seemed acceptable. I did commerce in college and with much tuition and after dropping my interested english literature, I managed to excel in A levels to study Accountancy. It was boring and really DRY! I hated the lessons. I wanted to change to Business and I went to see the Dean. The Dean thought it was strange as my results were good, " Try another year in accountancy or you have to start from Business first year" He advised me and my mum. That was the inflexibility then. My parents thought I was foolish to want to change course of study and waste a year. Afterall, they were putting their HOPES in me to quickly graduate in 3 years time and help support the family as my twin brothers and sister were all going to university in 3 years time and finances was really TIGHT. I struggled. I Passed. I went to see the Dean again in year 2 and this time he was really Mean. "Only one year to go girl, come on, don't waste my time and yours" He said sarcastically. So off I go and struggled and passed and graduated. I studied smart. I used my mother's methodology and it worked wonders.
How to study SMART
My parents especially my mum who was considered highly educated started to teach me writing both English and Mandarin and counting before i even attended Kindergarten. In fact I was well taught in my foundation as she enrolled me a year too early so I kind of repeated K1, of course now they have K1 and K2 for me it was K1 repeat K1 as too young for primary 1. She was always getting assessment books ahead for her children to do. I remembered doing primary 3 assessment when I was in primary 2 and by secondary school i had tuition to make sure Grades B become A. When i did well in CA or SA I was often rewarded with $. Up to university, I was given $500 per subject i got an A. In secondary school i had a wind fall of $400 for 8 As at $ 50 each and i got myself a walkman and a pager, I was the most technologically advanced student in gadgets. Hee
Well, before i started Accountancy at NTU, during orientation, I bought tutorials and lecture notes from my orientation group leader for $200. Every year, i would read his tutorials and study notes before i attend lectures and guess what??? almost 90% of the time, the questions were similar if not exact. This also made me feel disgusted with these university lecturers, who were paid so much. One law tutor left his most recent pay slip in a book which he loan to me. $10000 + OH GOD. So overpaid and under worked. What a waste of tax payers money!
Prayer Helps
When i was baptised, my mum confronted my church pastor. She was reported to be really upset and fearful that I would go ahead and be a nun and not study hard anymore. Later that day, a sister in christ, mother of 3 boys came to counsel me. She advised that since my mum's main worry was my studies and getting into university, I should all the more study harder, and glorify God and honour my parents with my results and if this was hard, asked Jesus to help you, Pray. I did. I prayed each time I had to do economics, C maths and priniciples of accounting as it was so boring numerically, I day dreamed often not so much of boys but shopping. Often my mind would go on a virtual window shop up escalators even to "buy" something I really liked!
Like Carrie Underwood's song, Jesus Take the Wheel, Christ propelled my studies to university and helped me graduate in 1995. (Afterall, I was among the embarassing few that need to re-take supplementary papers or face explusion each academic year.I even had to re do 2 papers after my Europe trip) Thank God I graduated. The stress I had gone through still haunts me occasionally in nightmares. After 12 years I still dream that I did not pass the re take papers and need to tell my parents I might be expelled from Accountancy. GOSH! It was so horrifying.
Musical Cross Roads
At the back of my mind I always wish i could study what I like. I love music. I love to sing and I love to dance. I always want to learn to make music. Each time this ancient longing would nag me, HEY, why am I wasting time studying what I don't like. But the dilemna was I was good at doing what I did not like so much that to move into what I like is a BIG step into the unknown. Yes there were times that I wanted to be a musician, a singer, a model but my conservative family would not be able to take it and modelling???I stopped growing at 1.57 cm..SIGH. I even had an elite model T shirt which I wore unashamedly for 15 years until it finally fell apart. Many a times I wished my parents would understand my passion and let me study music instead of going to university and graduate with a piece of paper certifying that I was good in a subject that I had no interest in at all.
My fault was I am very limited in being rebellious and often empathise with the "oppressors" I knew I must please my parents or there would be no peace and even love. I did auditing for almost 2 years and I dragged myself to work once the honey moon season of doing something new was over. I switched at a high cost of breaking a bond to selling insurance. Now being a sales person was quite a natural thing for me except that I was not that motivated by monetary perks than "my own leisure time to do what I want."
When I was an agent, my sales were among the top few even but the satisfaction was only temporary. Yes, there were the big deal highs but also long periods of low too. I worked for free as a church volunteer for half a week 3 years so that my poor pastor can do the leading and visioning, not the bulletin, lesson plans, typing sermons etc. It was my GIFT of time for God. My national duty. In turn God gave me opportunties to learn about church music, to select worship songs, to type the lyrics etc. I particularly loved the free time to learn piano, self taught with the chord book or even some group lessons that I attended to learn a little about making music.
When I share with the privilege few that my dream was to make music. Many would consider it a waste of the accountancy degree. My church pastor even said I was "Too old" for such dreams and must be realistic. Actually hardly anyone supported my dream. So in the mean time I frequent disco, pubs, karaokes and even pop concerts to enjoy the music. I gave up asking my parents as I knew they would flip backwards.
It was only when I was serving in the music ministry of my 2nd church that I received some form of vocal training and I was exposed to band music and choir and had many musician friends. Yan (Guy #5) was a musical buddy that encouraged me to pursue my dreams and subsequently he did give up his Masters in Architecture for the passion of teaching piano music.
What is ahead
Now that I had achieved motherhood and I felt my "national duty" of procreation was done with with Princess Rachel. I really want to do what I want in life. Afterall, I am going to be 35, almost half of my life was over and this NEXT half is going to be a BETTER half because I DARE to DO what GOD had put in my heart to do, to learn music. I will continue my music journey with piano and violin till the day I return to my Creator God. And of course, I would not mind at all if rachel wants to drop her studies to do music. Her parents with 3 unused degrees fully understand that the call of music and the pursuit of it is a Lifetime Journey and that until one answers that call, there would be no inner PEACE and real SATISFACTION in life.
Monday, 2 July 2007
Idol Mania
I love David in the bible. How not to? After all, God's word says that he was handsome, sang well, was very gifted musically that he composed so many songs of praise and worship in the book of Psalms and with so many different musical instruments as well. I very much want to marry a David.
Recently i brought rachel to Paragon to watch a violinist David Garrett. This David is only 26, very handsome, ex model and previously a violin child prodigy. Imagine he started performing for presidents from 6 years (very much like Mozart) studied music at the famous Julliard Music School and was given a US$4.5 million Stradivarius made in 1718. WOW.WOW.WOW.
Any way I watched all his videos in you tube and was pleasantly surprised to see myself carrying rachel in one of them. Hahaha. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLJhQQ0UCkI
My favourites http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJMzysGZi3I and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1zmBQAg87Y
and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZhwtZjZ5eU this is my definition of "David" a handsome musician.
Canto Pop Idols
As far back as I can remember I had always been captivated by "musical male beings" and apart from musical abilities, they also need to look good. My first Canto pop idol was Leslie Cheung. I do not know why but i liked his voice so much that i picked up Cantonese singing along with the lyrics in the cassette. (ya la...during those days its cassettes then big LD thingy then CD then MIDI then ipod now iapple). Later i included Andy Lau which i had the privilege to shake his hands with at a Fan club meeting at the former news centre. Of course, I washed my hands but my classmate did not do so for a week, she boasted. YUCK!!! Needless to say, I avoided her.
A few years later I went Fire Disco to meet Leon Lai. Hahah. I did blew several hundreds possibly thousands into concerts of Faye Wong, Leon Lai, Alan Tam, and Leslie Cheung. Only the Alan Tam concert was free, I won the ticket when i entered a VHS contest (ya la, those days we buy video tapes that you need to rewind to watch again, and they turn mouldy with time too. So it was VHS, then LD, then VCD, then DVD then superDVD???? then Youtube) I also collected the Idol cards and bought huge Idol magazines with great fervency.
I have a problem with Jacky Cheung though, he sang well, better than Leon lai and Aaron Kwok, however, he certainly lacked in the looks department. So he was not my idol though i liked his songs. Aaron was too BOYISH for me.
Ang Mo Pop Idols
Few knew but i was so captivated by Tommy Paige that i wrote to his fan club complaining that I hate A maths!!! Of course I did not get any reply. I still like his "A shoulder to cry on" and I loved Jason Donovan and Kylie Minogue then, the hot couple. "Especially for you"
However, i was not as crazy over the Ang mo music like I did for Canto Pop which was fuelled by the Karaoke craze. Really, each week end, some of my friends and I, singing enthusiasts, pop idol wanna be belt it out in Karaokes all over town, Happy Hour till Supper time. That was before the Singapore Idol, Campus Superstar days. Now we can only participate in the latest..what is it called? Age limit up to 70. Living a Dream??
The Other Extreme
Changes came when I entered college and my Mandarin became redundant. That was also the time when the 4 Heavenly Kings started to market Chinese albums, for some reason it ain't cool to listen to Mandarin or Canto pop music any more. May be in church we are always singing in English I started to be a devoted Class 95 listener. Soon we sang mainly English songs in karaoke, my favourites Colours of the Wind, I believe I Can Fly, and celine dion songs. i love the divas, may be by then with some proper vocal training, I discovered to my sheer delight that i am a soprano not alto. Hip Hip Hurray!!!! So I went on listening and getting inspired by Charlotte Church, Sarah Brightman, Renee Fleming etc. I also threw away all the pop idol cassettes and cards and posters after an ex church pastor preached against IDOL worship.
Worship Ministry- A CALLING
Many changes came about when i started serving God in the music ministry. Some how, along with voice improvement, I came to appreciate song writing and song composition more. I have no problem writing songs but i find adding music a challenge. Many times I would have a tune in my head only to lose it as i have not yet memorised it or put in down in paper (which i cant) I need to understand music. I need to read music, i want to be able to compose my own music to praise and worship God.
Somehow I had the gut feel since my teenage years that i would marry someone MUSICAL, and that was when i was still with a brethen congregation that was against music and clapping in worship. I really believed I would be marrying a DAVID, a man after God's own heart. So when God placed in the worship ministry in the subsequent church I knew the time was near.
Eventually I married GUY #5, my "david", one of the church keyboardists / pianists and that confirmed the musical calling in my life too. Some how, for christian couples, God gave us common destinies. For yan, its classical music and teaching, for me, I know it remains in the worship and song writing arena, for which i need to learn music. Like wise, i believe Rachel is going to be blest musically too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmDePI6YpKs
Recently i brought rachel to Paragon to watch a violinist David Garrett. This David is only 26, very handsome, ex model and previously a violin child prodigy. Imagine he started performing for presidents from 6 years (very much like Mozart) studied music at the famous Julliard Music School and was given a US$4.5 million Stradivarius made in 1718. WOW.WOW.WOW.
Any way I watched all his videos in you tube and was pleasantly surprised to see myself carrying rachel in one of them. Hahaha. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLJhQQ0UCkI
My favourites http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJMzysGZi3I and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1zmBQAg87Y
and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZhwtZjZ5eU this is my definition of "David" a handsome musician.
Canto Pop Idols
As far back as I can remember I had always been captivated by "musical male beings" and apart from musical abilities, they also need to look good. My first Canto pop idol was Leslie Cheung. I do not know why but i liked his voice so much that i picked up Cantonese singing along with the lyrics in the cassette. (ya la...during those days its cassettes then big LD thingy then CD then MIDI then ipod now iapple). Later i included Andy Lau which i had the privilege to shake his hands with at a Fan club meeting at the former news centre. Of course, I washed my hands but my classmate did not do so for a week, she boasted. YUCK!!! Needless to say, I avoided her.
A few years later I went Fire Disco to meet Leon Lai. Hahah. I did blew several hundreds possibly thousands into concerts of Faye Wong, Leon Lai, Alan Tam, and Leslie Cheung. Only the Alan Tam concert was free, I won the ticket when i entered a VHS contest (ya la, those days we buy video tapes that you need to rewind to watch again, and they turn mouldy with time too. So it was VHS, then LD, then VCD, then DVD then superDVD???? then Youtube) I also collected the Idol cards and bought huge Idol magazines with great fervency.
I have a problem with Jacky Cheung though, he sang well, better than Leon lai and Aaron Kwok, however, he certainly lacked in the looks department. So he was not my idol though i liked his songs. Aaron was too BOYISH for me.
Ang Mo Pop Idols
Few knew but i was so captivated by Tommy Paige that i wrote to his fan club complaining that I hate A maths!!! Of course I did not get any reply. I still like his "A shoulder to cry on" and I loved Jason Donovan and Kylie Minogue then, the hot couple. "Especially for you"
However, i was not as crazy over the Ang mo music like I did for Canto Pop which was fuelled by the Karaoke craze. Really, each week end, some of my friends and I, singing enthusiasts, pop idol wanna be belt it out in Karaokes all over town, Happy Hour till Supper time. That was before the Singapore Idol, Campus Superstar days. Now we can only participate in the latest..what is it called? Age limit up to 70. Living a Dream??
The Other Extreme
Changes came when I entered college and my Mandarin became redundant. That was also the time when the 4 Heavenly Kings started to market Chinese albums, for some reason it ain't cool to listen to Mandarin or Canto pop music any more. May be in church we are always singing in English I started to be a devoted Class 95 listener. Soon we sang mainly English songs in karaoke, my favourites Colours of the Wind, I believe I Can Fly, and celine dion songs. i love the divas, may be by then with some proper vocal training, I discovered to my sheer delight that i am a soprano not alto. Hip Hip Hurray!!!! So I went on listening and getting inspired by Charlotte Church, Sarah Brightman, Renee Fleming etc. I also threw away all the pop idol cassettes and cards and posters after an ex church pastor preached against IDOL worship.
Worship Ministry- A CALLING
Many changes came about when i started serving God in the music ministry. Some how, along with voice improvement, I came to appreciate song writing and song composition more. I have no problem writing songs but i find adding music a challenge. Many times I would have a tune in my head only to lose it as i have not yet memorised it or put in down in paper (which i cant) I need to understand music. I need to read music, i want to be able to compose my own music to praise and worship God.
Somehow I had the gut feel since my teenage years that i would marry someone MUSICAL, and that was when i was still with a brethen congregation that was against music and clapping in worship. I really believed I would be marrying a DAVID, a man after God's own heart. So when God placed in the worship ministry in the subsequent church I knew the time was near.
Eventually I married GUY #5, my "david", one of the church keyboardists / pianists and that confirmed the musical calling in my life too. Some how, for christian couples, God gave us common destinies. For yan, its classical music and teaching, for me, I know it remains in the worship and song writing arena, for which i need to learn music. Like wise, i believe Rachel is going to be blest musically too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HmDePI6YpKs
TANTRUMS of the young and old
Sigh. I love peace. Thank God I married my peace-loving buddy. And my best friend is truly another peace loving and classy gal.
Listen to WISDOM
The past few days were horrid. Well, Wisdom says that it is better to minimise liasing with people that are prone to rob your family of peace and joy. Sometimes, what these "not so peace loving beings" want is ATTENTION!!!! ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION!!! and they will do anything, everything to get what they want NOW!!!! just like toddler tantrums. I've tried being a bridge, a minister, a counsellor but a the end of the day, all these gimmicks and antics dry up my patience and tire me emotionally unneccessarily. Already I am pretty patient a person (of course my partner is LAGI patient, remember he is better than me in really almost every aspect!!!) I realised too that GIVING them the attention does not help them to be better individuals at all. Sometimes it is better to teach one how to fish than to serve them the steam garoupa all the time.
Baby Tantrums
Rachel throws an average of 2 tantrums a day. Usually it is due to the fact that she can't take "NO" for an answer or can't do things her OWN way. She gets frustrated when she can't get in position in time to participate in the Barney videos like sitting in an empty box singing and pretending along that it is an aeroplane. She has learnt now by making a few groans that Mummy with back track the video for her to start again, that there is NO NEED for any anger or frustration.
Recently she has learnt to "wait" a day!! She understands that Mummy and Daddy will get her a new video or toy Tomorrow. In fact, she will remind you the first thing she wakes up the next day. Like wise she has also learnt to say "wait...I don't want!" to bathing and meals sometimes.
SuperNanny
We learnt a lot from Jo Frost the Super Nanny. Indeed she had 15 years of precious experience minding other people's kids. Time and time again I find assurance in her advices and tips. For example she prefers that toddlers be toilet trained when they are ready usually after 30months or 2.5 years old to 3. Rachel is definitely not ready for it, we have decided to train her a couple of months down the road though she can now remove her own diaper when instructed to do so. I am also giving her some "bare bottom" moments after her Mickey Mouse bath tub sessions with a swimming Donald Duck that Ah Ma( my mum) gives. Oh!!!!She loves to bathe with Cheryl her 5 year old cousin when we do visit my mum's place. The 2 girls have so much fun soaping each other and giggling non stop that you will join in laughing. Hahaha
The elderly like to pressure you to get your baby out of diapers. "Why so slow de?" "Still not toilet trained yet??? Aiyo...my 2 kids toilet train before 1 year old. Now a days people rather their kids covered with mess whole day wor..." retorted the Super Nagger!!
First Concert Date
Anyway thank God for local Supernanny Nancy. She took good care of rachel on friday night, so yan and I could go for a concert at VCH. Our first since rachel was born!!! What a victory!!! True Freedom!!!! And the best part is i can eat my Kenny Rogers dinner with both hands and not have to feed her at the same time. The food certainly taste so much better when one can ENJOY eating!!!
The concert was amazing!!!! I particularly was enthralled by the Scarbo in Maurice Ravel's Gaspard de la nuit. Such impressive performance!!! One can't help but imagine that the pianist Minoru Nojima does nothing in his life but sit at the piano practice practice practice. Yan played mainly Ondine which i can relate to but the third movement is so demanding that it seemed to be written for the superhuman someone like Minoru.
i love going to concerts! I like the pre concert preparation, the big question. What to wear? what kind of make up to go with what i intend to wear? What bag or shoes is not such a headache as i do not own that many to confuse me, as yet. But sigh...I wish i will soon look into my future watch "closet" and sigh. Tag Heuer Aqua Racer with diamonds or BVLGARI or Omega constellation???. Yes, I am still DREAMING of starting a TIMEPIECE collection, may be i should get a REAL watch every year. Or better still as a wedding anniversary gift. To me they are better than diamond rings.
I also like the post concert debrief sessions. Usually with a drink, alcoholic or coffee but our de brief this time was to rush and fetch our princess back from the nanny's place. On the way back we were surprised by the stunning fire works display. This being the NDP rehearsal night and the last farewell to National Stadium where i re dedicated my life to Jesus at 13.
Life certainly looks good. I sincerely believe the next half will be a better half year in this Year of Abundance. All the more when i made up my mind to stop Worrying and instead trust and receive more of God's Grace! Amen
Listen to WISDOM
The past few days were horrid. Well, Wisdom says that it is better to minimise liasing with people that are prone to rob your family of peace and joy. Sometimes, what these "not so peace loving beings" want is ATTENTION!!!! ATTENTION!!! ATTENTION!!! and they will do anything, everything to get what they want NOW!!!! just like toddler tantrums. I've tried being a bridge, a minister, a counsellor but a the end of the day, all these gimmicks and antics dry up my patience and tire me emotionally unneccessarily. Already I am pretty patient a person (of course my partner is LAGI patient, remember he is better than me in really almost every aspect!!!) I realised too that GIVING them the attention does not help them to be better individuals at all. Sometimes it is better to teach one how to fish than to serve them the steam garoupa all the time.
Baby Tantrums
Rachel throws an average of 2 tantrums a day. Usually it is due to the fact that she can't take "NO" for an answer or can't do things her OWN way. She gets frustrated when she can't get in position in time to participate in the Barney videos like sitting in an empty box singing and pretending along that it is an aeroplane. She has learnt now by making a few groans that Mummy with back track the video for her to start again, that there is NO NEED for any anger or frustration.
Recently she has learnt to "wait" a day!! She understands that Mummy and Daddy will get her a new video or toy Tomorrow. In fact, she will remind you the first thing she wakes up the next day. Like wise she has also learnt to say "wait...I don't want!" to bathing and meals sometimes.
SuperNanny
We learnt a lot from Jo Frost the Super Nanny. Indeed she had 15 years of precious experience minding other people's kids. Time and time again I find assurance in her advices and tips. For example she prefers that toddlers be toilet trained when they are ready usually after 30months or 2.5 years old to 3. Rachel is definitely not ready for it, we have decided to train her a couple of months down the road though she can now remove her own diaper when instructed to do so. I am also giving her some "bare bottom" moments after her Mickey Mouse bath tub sessions with a swimming Donald Duck that Ah Ma( my mum) gives. Oh!!!!She loves to bathe with Cheryl her 5 year old cousin when we do visit my mum's place. The 2 girls have so much fun soaping each other and giggling non stop that you will join in laughing. Hahaha
The elderly like to pressure you to get your baby out of diapers. "Why so slow de?" "Still not toilet trained yet??? Aiyo...my 2 kids toilet train before 1 year old. Now a days people rather their kids covered with mess whole day wor..." retorted the Super Nagger!!
First Concert Date
Anyway thank God for local Supernanny Nancy. She took good care of rachel on friday night, so yan and I could go for a concert at VCH. Our first since rachel was born!!! What a victory!!! True Freedom!!!! And the best part is i can eat my Kenny Rogers dinner with both hands and not have to feed her at the same time. The food certainly taste so much better when one can ENJOY eating!!!
The concert was amazing!!!! I particularly was enthralled by the Scarbo in Maurice Ravel's Gaspard de la nuit. Such impressive performance!!! One can't help but imagine that the pianist Minoru Nojima does nothing in his life but sit at the piano practice practice practice. Yan played mainly Ondine which i can relate to but the third movement is so demanding that it seemed to be written for the superhuman someone like Minoru.
i love going to concerts! I like the pre concert preparation, the big question. What to wear? what kind of make up to go with what i intend to wear? What bag or shoes is not such a headache as i do not own that many to confuse me, as yet. But sigh...I wish i will soon look into my future watch "closet" and sigh. Tag Heuer Aqua Racer with diamonds or BVLGARI or Omega constellation???. Yes, I am still DREAMING of starting a TIMEPIECE collection, may be i should get a REAL watch every year. Or better still as a wedding anniversary gift. To me they are better than diamond rings.
I also like the post concert debrief sessions. Usually with a drink, alcoholic or coffee but our de brief this time was to rush and fetch our princess back from the nanny's place. On the way back we were surprised by the stunning fire works display. This being the NDP rehearsal night and the last farewell to National Stadium where i re dedicated my life to Jesus at 13.
Life certainly looks good. I sincerely believe the next half will be a better half year in this Year of Abundance. All the more when i made up my mind to stop Worrying and instead trust and receive more of God's Grace! Amen
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