Here are my prayers and wishes for the coming new year, 2008
1) Health.
I pray that everyone in my family and my friends to be in good health and be happy. Personally, I am wanting to return to my pre-pregnant figure which was previously between a size s and m. I must make time to exercise, to run and be back to 48kg again. I miss my previous gorgeous and sexy figure. It was good enough for me to secretly wish be a lingerie model. BUT i know my parents will double flip so I never mention it to anyone.
2) MUSIC
Music makes me feel alive. I started to learn the violin in Aug 2007 and this year Rachel will embark on her musical journey. I want to play so much better in terms of tone, bowing and expressions. I also wish to attend a few really GOOD violin concerts at the esplanade. I will also add to my current collection, more violin DVDs especially those of Anne Sophie Mutter and Yehudi Menuhin.
3) Beauty.
Now this is important to me. To believe I am beautiful. The fact is I never consider myself a beauty even when i was 48kg and had nice hair. To me, the very deep seated belief is that I am not beautiful enough!! No one can be perfect but I want to be near my own levels of attainable close to perfection standards. I want to be beautiful whatever it takes, without surgery OUCH, one caesarean is enough, pills or chemical injections. It takes GOD man!!
4) $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
With rising inflation and single family income, I really ask God for PROSPERITY. Now that I truly understand the value of money, I really pray God will BLESS our family so we can be in a position to GIVE and BLESS others. We need a new apartment as our lease ends Aug 2008 and I think a car and weekly home cleaning would be bonuses.
5) Travel
The furthest i travelled in 2007 is Seng kang. And since the cab fare hike, travelling within the island of Singapura became more a chore. I wasted my life the most in 2007 waiting for and then travelling on crowded buses and nursing Rachel on the journeys some more!!!!! Come 2008, I pray we will go for a short family get away, Bintan will do and NO I do not like Malaysia.
6) Rachel
This one is the most tricky. I want to stop breast feeding 2008. ENOUGH already!! Rachel is turning 3 in a couple of days and I need my breasts back so to speak. Now she owns them!!!! I also prayed hard that she will understand and be efficiently toilet trained soon. As of now, she is very apt at eating on her own and learning new things but she still prefers to do all her businesses with Huggies and Pampers and boy, in secret!!!!
7)Friends
I need some new friends. I would like to share my life with other muscially inclined parents of young children and those that had started or wish to home school their young children.
Sunday, 30 December 2007
Reflection
It's the time of the year again. Christmas came and went with no party this year and the wonderful post christmas sale is on.
I remembered a time not too long ago when i would clear my wardrobe of ex-fashion items to the Salvation army so as to make space for new purchases. I loved to wear "in" items be it the mini skirts, ( i love mini skirts that showed off my rather slim athletic legs) espadrilles and lots of tube tops. I had so much stuff that i had wished for bigger wardrobes during past Christmases. Now my current wardrobe is not yet filled but i love to splurge on Rachel. It does not matter that i have nothing to wear or match with, I want to make sure that she is well provided for physically, emotionally and materially from clothes, shoes toys to educational material.
I remembered when i was in my late teens and early twenties, I enjoyed colouring my hair brown with highlights and i stood out among the crowd. Some even assumed i was a "bad" girl as i was dressed very fashionably with accessories like bangles and earrings even. Now i am back to my asian ebony black hair that had not been coloured or permed or rebonded for 5 years i think.
In the past, christmas meant more than Jesus. It also meant a time to be remembered as the most generous giver. Ha. I mean i made sure i give the best gifts that i can afford to reward worthy business clients and friends. Talking about friends, I was the natural leader of the small pack of girls that hungered and thirst after my directions and companionship.
I was easily the most charismatic, confident gal, and yes, i excelled academically, had a good sexy hour glass figure with slim legs and a super generous heart and some say sexy almond eyes. I was always treating "friends" to expensive lunches, coffees and even buffet dinners. I took pains to "surprise" them with birthday gifts and parties even. No wonder i had a lot of "loyal" friends. Looking back, most of them were fair weather friends and when calamity strikes, like when i was heart broken and subsequenly when i was financially broke, these friendships EVAPORATED into the thin air. Sigh................................
Fast forward 5 years......Now I married and became a full time mother. With no income, its no surprise then that I had only a few friends. Family members takes priority and for the first time i actually see my family members as friends too. Wonderful friends. I married my best male buddy and Rachel too, she's such a joy to be with, i love her companionship.
In the past when i noticed young people, both male and female checking me out, I am comforted to acknowledge that I am a good looker and quite desirable as well. That adds to my super ego confidence!! But now, if i see anyone looking at me, I assumed it was because i am now carrying some excess baggage, looking tired and worn out with Rachel and had no make up or proper clothes or shoes or bags on. As a result i prefer to avoid eye contact and i DO NOT talk to strangers any more. I became a different person, a back ground person so to speak. I no longer want the lime light or any attention.
When i go shopping i prayed i will not run into anyone I used to know. Its kind of sad, the person they used to see had degenerate much, from hottie to auntie. Life moves at a much slower pace now that Rachel is part of the family and the days and nights are much longer with endless tasks and chores. Apart of learning the violin, and working a frenzy to keep the house clean and to re gain my figure and complexion, I do not have any major project except to ensure that Rachel is well brought up, academically and muscially. Of course, needless to say spiritually and relationally which is the foundation of life itself.
I remembered a time not too long ago when i would clear my wardrobe of ex-fashion items to the Salvation army so as to make space for new purchases. I loved to wear "in" items be it the mini skirts, ( i love mini skirts that showed off my rather slim athletic legs) espadrilles and lots of tube tops. I had so much stuff that i had wished for bigger wardrobes during past Christmases. Now my current wardrobe is not yet filled but i love to splurge on Rachel. It does not matter that i have nothing to wear or match with, I want to make sure that she is well provided for physically, emotionally and materially from clothes, shoes toys to educational material.
I remembered when i was in my late teens and early twenties, I enjoyed colouring my hair brown with highlights and i stood out among the crowd. Some even assumed i was a "bad" girl as i was dressed very fashionably with accessories like bangles and earrings even. Now i am back to my asian ebony black hair that had not been coloured or permed or rebonded for 5 years i think.
In the past, christmas meant more than Jesus. It also meant a time to be remembered as the most generous giver. Ha. I mean i made sure i give the best gifts that i can afford to reward worthy business clients and friends. Talking about friends, I was the natural leader of the small pack of girls that hungered and thirst after my directions and companionship.
I was easily the most charismatic, confident gal, and yes, i excelled academically, had a good sexy hour glass figure with slim legs and a super generous heart and some say sexy almond eyes. I was always treating "friends" to expensive lunches, coffees and even buffet dinners. I took pains to "surprise" them with birthday gifts and parties even. No wonder i had a lot of "loyal" friends. Looking back, most of them were fair weather friends and when calamity strikes, like when i was heart broken and subsequenly when i was financially broke, these friendships EVAPORATED into the thin air. Sigh................................
Fast forward 5 years......Now I married and became a full time mother. With no income, its no surprise then that I had only a few friends. Family members takes priority and for the first time i actually see my family members as friends too. Wonderful friends. I married my best male buddy and Rachel too, she's such a joy to be with, i love her companionship.
In the past when i noticed young people, both male and female checking me out, I am comforted to acknowledge that I am a good looker and quite desirable as well. That adds to my super ego confidence!! But now, if i see anyone looking at me, I assumed it was because i am now carrying some excess baggage, looking tired and worn out with Rachel and had no make up or proper clothes or shoes or bags on. As a result i prefer to avoid eye contact and i DO NOT talk to strangers any more. I became a different person, a back ground person so to speak. I no longer want the lime light or any attention.
When i go shopping i prayed i will not run into anyone I used to know. Its kind of sad, the person they used to see had degenerate much, from hottie to auntie. Life moves at a much slower pace now that Rachel is part of the family and the days and nights are much longer with endless tasks and chores. Apart of learning the violin, and working a frenzy to keep the house clean and to re gain my figure and complexion, I do not have any major project except to ensure that Rachel is well brought up, academically and muscially. Of course, needless to say spiritually and relationally which is the foundation of life itself.
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