U kidding me??????

I am so looking forward to the latest Wang family member. You see, my sis-in-law Christine is pregnant with her third child, another girl due mid nov. The last baby in our family had been Lynn now turning two, already in child care with her brother Luke, adorable kids from my brother Ron.

So....the all too scary question. When is your turn????? I mean, pressure...pressure..pressure....not pleasure....pleasure....pleasure.

I want to take this opportunity to officially declare, as if I had not yet done so, that ONE is ENOUGH for my family of single income sans any form of domestic help.

I consider Rachel a tough birth. While her conception and pregnancy was smooth right up to 5 months, I was pressured to leave work before I was 6 months pregnant with bleeding due to the extremely stressful sales banking job in the bank where working long hours, standing and during weekends was part and parcel of the job. In the end, I lost the maternity benefits. My family struggled with the loss of my higher income at that time and soon my mum was dignosed with terminal stage cancer, needing expensive surgery and chemotheraphy for the next 4 years. Her sufferings finally ended last year in Mar 2008.

It's no joke being pregnant and wondering if your own mother will be around when the child is due. I remembered praying and asking God to please prolong my mother's life so she may enjoy her grand child. God did, sort of, as mum battled cancer, she also received much physical, emotional and financial support from her many children and found her many grand children, a source of comfort and good distraction from the pain and suffering.

Add to that, we could not afford any domestic help. I literally raised Rachel from day one I was discharged from the hospital with the awful c-section. Life was tough, physically, emotionally, financially and somewhat spiritually too. It's a miracle that I went through the 2.5 years of night feeds being essentially Rachel's milk bottle on demand. Yan's a great help but I am still the main care giver. When my child was sick, rota virus, bronchitis etc, or injured, fell off the bed at 4 months, had her fingers slammed twice by the door needing A& E, I was extra, extra stressed out, physically, emotionally and financially. Not forgetting the time when Yan was hospitalised for dengue. To finance the many immunisations that Rachel needed, we also sold our wedding jewellery which I frankly do not care much.

So for several times a week, I often had to travel to sengkang, north east of Singapore, a 1.5 hour journey by bus and train, to care for my sick mum, while attending to the urgent needs of my toddler. Rachel had to be with me whenever I accompanied my mum on her various cancer treatment including the various invasive procedures that required hospitalisation.

How can I ever want to have another kid. I would need super human strength to cope with more chores, more mess and would not have time to give Rachel the best attention and lessons in art and music. Rachel is home schooled. What about our musical pursuits-yan and mine????. $$$$$$$$ wise, we have yet to save up for our own place since the lease of this current haven will expire next year.

Besides, I cannot imagine buying the baby stuff that I had so diligently and desperately ebayed away to raise cash, and start the whole process of suffering all over again. Yan too, felt that one kid is already a huge toll on our finances and lifestyle that went from comfort to sheer basic necessities. To add to that, there is a sick mother in law that is dependent on him, the financial burden of whom gets heavier each day due to medical and old age issues.

The logical thing to do : Be content.

After all, with only one child, the apple of our eyes, Rachel becomes very precious and cherished and blessed with quality toys and lots of attention and parental company.

I am done with child bearing. When I have another $20,000, I would rather buy a better violin and Yan his dream grand piano, the Yamaha c2. But of course, sensibly, we will repay the debts and loans and believe God for our own property.

Praise be to God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. After all, we are the righteousness of God and as Abraham's seed, we will be and are already being blessed in every way. Merci Mon Dieu.