Heeding the call

I am going to get really busy soon. Nope, I am not having another kid. In fact, the project that I am getting into is so exciting and HUGE. The notion of it all had already started the adrenalin rush and late last night, yan and I were busy selecting the exam pieces.

Yes, I am going to learn piano playing as well. And perform for the various examiners!!!! NO gasping, for to me, making a musical instrument sing is so much less tedious than crooning myself.

I've explained before that since I was a young child below 10, I was fascinated with music and the out of tune piano that I get to tinker on once in a blue moon at my mum's foster aunt's place in Katong. Then at the various church camps I tried to learn how to play the piano from the many reluctant kids that knew how to play the lower grades mechanically. My parents however, discouraged learning music due to financial constraints and more so, believing music will distract me from studying hard and getting the all too important degree needed to upgrade the family financial and social status.

At the first cross-road in my life at 17, I wanted to study music but was told off by both my practical no-nonsense parents and the then church pastor. "What's the point???" "You did not start out as a kid like others do." "You will NOT succeed!!!, You will NOT earn enough for a living!" It sounded like a curse from the previous leader that I respected much and worked alongside with, having volunteered years of unpaid service-including hard labour like painting and fixing the wall lights. But of course, he meant well. Like my parents, he believed in the "security" of having a university degree.

So the story goes that for the sake of inner peace, I completed my Accountancy degree, worked as an auditor initially but left to do insurance sales so as to have time to pursue music. Whatever little I learnt, I was not content but with limited resources more time than money, I was able to make minute progress and serve God with the little I had, mainly in the worship ministry as a vocalist and part of the choir which I hated. I am definitely more of the soloist type. Needing much the space and the freedom to express myself artistically.

What's my destiny in life??? What's God's will for you in life??? What do you felt drawn to??? Such questions inevitably prompt my heart to cry out "MUSIC". I want to learn music. I want to experience music and grow up learning music. It's more than "missing childhood education" thingy , its like I truly believe that's my purpose in life, including knowing my Saviour at a young age and having my own family. Without heeding this strong call in my heart, I would die so unfulfilled and miserable.

While many in the church and my family too, balked at the idea of me an adult learning music, Yan was the only one who believed in me and encouraged me much. With him, I felt I can BE MYSELF- no matter how ridiculous the idea may be- concerning me seriously studying music. He provided the resources and also helped much with the learning process.

So, finally, at the age of 34 (in 2007) when Rachel was almost 2, I started learning the violin which I love and now at 36, I will tackle the pianoforte. Challenging???? You BET. Let's put it this way, its something that I WANT to invest my life, finances and time in so much more so than the unpredictable stock market. The music clefs appeal to me more than the $ sign.

I know that with God, all things are possible and his grace will see me through this life journey. Thank you Father God.