Hans Fever.

Sigh...I think i am having Hans matheson fever. Ever since he captured my heart as Marius Pontmercy in the film version of Les Miserables (1998), I've been watching and reading up on him in youtube and google etc.

Lately I watched Canone Inverso: Making Love (2000) and was wowed again by his acting. This is an Italian production about the inverse canone, a piece of music which can be played forward and backwards, a strangely shaped violin scroll head and best friends in the conservatory turned half brothers. Of course throw in a couple of love scenes and the romantic period war film with its beautiful deeply moving score made me fall in love again. Hans Matheson is so perfect for the role of Jeno. What I admire about him is he actually learnt to play the violin well for the role and continues to play it till this day. Coming from a musician family his dad is a Musician and he often performs with him. Hans played guitar (also for the role in Still Crazy) and harmonica as well.

I absolutely love his sensitive soulful eyes and his protrayal of Dr Zhivago was immaculate. I love his voice too. In Dr Zhivago he had to display a huge range of emotions and his character ages through marriage and war. I feel very sad for the impossible love that he had with Lara played by a beautiful Keira knightly. Its like they were destined to be lovers, soul mates but had to part again and again. Both were married with kids. I think Lara married Pasha to escape from the evil Komarosky (Sam Neil with his superb acting, you will hate him here), while Yuri (Hans) married Tonya, his cousin whose family adopted him, perhaps out of gratitude and the expectation of his aunt who was dying. Anyway, in this mini series totalling 4 hours in 2 episodes, the audience cannot help but feel the pain and dilemma that Yuri struggles with torn between the loves for these 2 women.

Watching Dr Zhivago left me totally melancholic though i did not shed a tear. Its the sort that tugs and pulls at your heart and soul. It got me to feel that I never felt so much passion from a man who loves me, partly I am not as beautiful as Lara or more so that Asian guys are more reserved generally. The part where Yuri said "I wish I could lead two lives. Mine and that to see you happy and healthy..." with tears welling up in his eyes at the Nurse Antiplova (Lara) is so moving. If I am Lara, I will fall for him too. Afterall, they were in the middle of the war and their spouses dead or alive? there were no news at all. Having spent so much time together working as doctor and nurse, and the fact that doctor zhivago is handsome, sentimental and truly poetic and is deeply in love with Lara. I admit I have a weakness for handsome guys. Perhaps the reason why i fell for Dr wilson in the past. Thank God yan is a good looker, a musical being with a gentle soul, probably why I fell for him as he touches me with his sincerity and friendship. Unlike my friend Melina, I am not drawn to powerful and successful men but the ones that can express themselves in thoughts and feelings- the musically and artistically inclined ones.

I felt for Tonya's lost as well. She lost her husband, her best friend and "brother". The times in the Ural mountains where they lived simply to escape the communist were her happiest, she thought before she knew about his double life. Ironically it was Lara the ad hoc mid wife who helped deliver her second child, a girl that Yuri never see in the movie. It gave me shudders thinking what would happen if something like this were to happen to me. What should I do? What will I do? Such things never cross my mind before. Sigh. Its likely that like Tonya I want my husband to be happy even if it means to let go and let God console me. Tonya said in the movie she'll have him back only if he is no longer in love with Lara. How wise! I thought, And compassionate and forgiving too.

I encouraged Yan to watch Dr Zhivago with me but alas, he was too tired and slept much throughout the movie. He thinks I am obsessed with Hans Matheson and to him he is just a ordinary actor and the movies are meant for smitten fans. Is he jealous? perhaps. The movie does remind me not to take things and people you love for granted. And especially so in light of the recent H1N1 flu epidemic that the world is currently facing.

Whatever it is, the Hans matheson fever is doing me more good than bad I believe. I am reviving my literary side. In fact I was over the moon when I found the novel in Borders parkway parade. I reminisced the time when I was younger and voraciously reading literature "Shakespeare, charles dickens, jane austen and leo tolstroy etc. In college, I had to give up literature for the sake of my ailing accounting subjects being in the commerce stream of Victoria Junior College.

Hans Matheson touches my heart with his great acting and protrayal of characters. He also inspires me where music and literature is concerned. I certainly hope to meet him one day.Ha If meant to be we can be friends. only friends that's it. Afterall, i am no Lara. Hahaha...I do sound like I am obsessed with him already. hahaha