Long term Parenting

What a rare moment! Rachel is taking a nap which i pray is not too short, otherwise I may not get my thoughts sorted out in this blog. Sigh...........

This morning her violin lesson was a disaster. Actually the disaster started after we moved to the neighbouring estate. Well, an accurate analysis revealed that its not violin or music or teacher amy that she dislikes, its the fact that we often had to drag her out of the house when she is in tune with her favourite OKTO cartoons. After the handsome BEN 10, her favourite is Harry and the Bucketful of Dinosaurs. Er????????? Well I remembered the time when Teletubbies were considered Satanic and I loved the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and my sister adored the Powerpuff Girls.

So Amy suggest we change strategy again. This time, I will start my lessons of 45mins followed by Rachel. The problem is this breastfed baby is so BABY!!!!!! She is so CLINGY and needs Mummy all the time even when daddy is there eager to help with toys, schooling and meals etc.

I feel sad when people criticised us parents for "spoiling" the kid. "You need to give her a younger sibling or she will forever be a baby!","You need to send her to school!", "You need to be more firm with her, use authority or she will dominate over the parents etc etc etc" Its like suddenly every one around you including those that never yet had a kid became "parenting experts"

Guess what? I decided to "tune out" of these unneccessary "parenting pressure". Looking back, I had been brought up with lots of scolding and caning and discipline more than any of my siblings mainly because I am the eldest and I am a follower of Christ even though my parents are non-believers who prayed to gods and ghosts and also for 4d lottery numbers etc.

I love my parents because somehow after knowing Jesus, you became more forgiving and loving towards your loved ones and friends. We love Rachel. In fact we love her so much that we do not want to tarnish her childhood with unneccessary pain, physical and emotional. We want her to be feel loved, cherished and important. She is a child of God like us and we want to show her the love of God through our parenting.

Rachel will not be a child forever. She is getting out of diapers permanently and already has a mind of her own. One day she may leave us to futher her studies, career or even for musical pursuits.

I reckon that the impact of the mother on her child's life is very strong and almost permanent. Physically, emotionally abusive mums and highly critical, negative mums produce kids that suffer lower self esteem and persismistic outlook for life. In my short few years to mother rachel, I want to leave a positive impact in her life. I want to be a good mum who leads her like a shepherd, one that plays with her like a good friend. One that models to her what being a mother is like so that one day she may choose to be one.

Frankly, I am blest with a good mother who did her best helping dad at the foodstall and completing the chores. In fact, because of Christ I am a better mum than my mother, as I am many times more patient and affectionate. However, with 4x the number of children to handle and without any maid, I think my mum did her best in her short life to positively impact the 4 kids. We learnt to respect her authority and benefitted much from her guidance and discipline. We fulfilled her dream that all of us will be degree holders for she did not have much opportunity to further her studies beyond the pre-u level due to illnesses and financial lack, being an orphan.

Long after I am gone, I pray Rachel will think well of me (of course daddy too) and remember the times we spent painting, reading, playing and also shopping and learning music together. I feel blest and honoured already to be a full time "life giver" -a mother to my child, probably my one and only beloved RACHEL

I believe she will turn out Better than expected. To God be the glory