Nurtured by Love

Wow..its been a long time since i blogged!!!!

Been really busy lately. On top of playing with my ever active and demanding toddler, I had to finish to near perfection all household chores and practice at least 30 mins daily on my beloved...violin.

Well, musically speaking i am improving and am excited by my ability to learn more new songs. Been reading for a second time now, Nurtured by Love which details the life of Mr Shinichi Suzuki and his Talent Education Method. I am totally inspired by his exemplary life and kindness to young children.

Mr Shinichi Suzuki worked in his father's Suzuki Violin Factory in Japan. And at the age of 17, he taught himself to play the violin as he was touched deeply by a beautiful piece of music which he then tried to imitate the sounds as he had heard them on the record player. That was Schubert's Ave Maria played by Mischa Elman. Eventually his ability to learn helped him progress far in his musical career and he spent time learning the instrument in Europe. Later on he went on to coach young children like Koji Toyoda, Toyoshi Eto when they were about 3-4 years old. I am particularly struck by Mr Suzuki's compassion and passion as a teacher. He actively seek out through national broadcast his former child student Koji Toyoda when the later's parents were killed by the War. He gave Koji Toyoda a good violin education and a home.

Many of his children students became violin performers and teachers of international renown. Koji Toyoda became the first concertmaster of the Berlin Symphony Orchestra after graduating from the Paris Music Conservatory in only 6 months when he was a young man. Today Koji Toyoda not only performs but conducts and trains many renown violinists and is the head of the Suzuki International where the Talent Education Method continues to positively impact the lives of children and adults globally. The Suzuki Violin cds i listen to daily were played by Koji Toyoda who started to learn from Mr Shinichi Suzuki at the tender age of three and a half.

Similarly Ms Akiko Suwanai, whose teacher Toshiya Eto was one of Suzuki's earliest child students at age 4. Ms Akiko went on to win the 1990 International Tchaikovsky Compeition in 1990 at the tender age of 19.

Mr Suzuki even learned to teach a totally blind kid the art of violin playing out of compassion. I know most teachers would prefer to teach only healthy and normal pupils.

Well, to Mr Suzuki, every child can be trained to play the violin and violin playing trains a child to learn appropriate behaviour and fine tune their characters. The fact is that nobody is ever born with talents but as babies, young children and adults, we improve on our natural ability to learn whatever: mother tongue, knowledge, skills, hobbies and music. A clever baby can even learn to sing out of tune if that is what he had been exposed to in his environment which he imitates... his mother's out of tune singing!!! GASP!!!

In addition, according to the Suzuki Method, to lament our lack of talents and to GIVE UP is FOLLY indeed. Step by step, without rushing and without ceasing, one WILL develop excellence through repetition.

I am now learning to play the violin using the Suzuki method materials. In fact the more i learn, the more my ability to learn progresses and I am confident i am en route to playing well confidently.

As Suzuki Method seeks to train young children from age 3, I have decided to send Rachel for lessons once she is 3. Its not just the violin playing, it is also the crucial conditioning of body and mind and the developing of the ability to learn both music and good behaviour.

Already Rachel has been listening to both parents practice on their instruments, daddy -piano, mummy- violin, and the many cds and dvds that we play for the whole family daily.I know the environment, the good musical environment is preparing her heart and soul for a excellent musical education for life.

One day we may even play duet together and perhaps start a music school. Hee

God's preparation and timing

Yan is visiting his mum in Malaysia and our princess is now taking a nap. While I very much want to play and practise the violin, I do not want to risk waking her up prematurely.

As i write this, I am reflecting on the goodness of God. I remembered when I was young and was very exuberant and enthusiastic about the prospect of learning music, many including my ex church pastor Paul would discourage or "rein me in" citing the "lack of monetary prospects of being a musician".

My mum was against me learning music. I asked her 3x when i was in primary school and each time after some general reprimanding I was asked to study hard and graduate with a university degree and quickly help support the family finances.

It also did not help much that I was quite good in my academics. So this dream of wanting to learn music, something i felt very strongly I was made for, was shelved and visited occasionally during school holidays and in between job episodes.

With time, my temperament mellowed much. I was no longer boisterous and bubbly a teenager. I realised especially when sad things happened like the death of my diabetic grandfather, who was wheel chaired bound for a long time after a leg amputation and likewise the death of my grandma who had stomach ulcer turned cancer, I felt more and more melancholic.

Its not depression or just being sad but I feel more and more deeply within my soul so to speak. Its like i could listen to Mozart's Requiem for hours and carry within me the sorrow and sadness for days yet I was going about life normally, shopping and catching movies.

I became a more patient person and i do not rush the decision making process as much. I developed what personality temperament traits studies say "stability".

Anyway, with time, especially after the major disappointment with a potential guy, I became more withdrawn, reserved and melancholic. Its no longer adequate to express myself and my deep feelings with words, which i normally do along with some painting. I need music.

I had been in the worship ministry for almost my entire christian life though more significantly as a vocalist for about 5 years. Yes there were definitely moments where you willed yourself to sing and worship despite personal heartaches and troubles and time and time again God restores the soul and strengthens us to go through the difficult painful moments. I clearly remembered the moment when i lost all voice so to speak, my soul was so tormented I just could not sing or praise God though I can say it, I just cannot sing. If I open my mouth there was no voice and i needed to "sing" through an instrument and be connected to my dear Lord again.

I could not even cry, perhaps the tears had ran dry but right there sitting at my digital piano one eeriely late night, through the headphones, I "sang" my heart out, playing the piano as if I can play it that well, I just focused on the sound i made and the mixed up feelings just gave way to blissful peace. I was ministering to my soul like David did in the Bible and allowing God to restore the broken spirit and heart through music.

From that moment on, it did not matter whether others think I am cut out to be a musician or not, I know I need to express myself musically. Its like breathing and living, I want to make music from deep within my soul.