Aftermath After thoughts

I can't sleep! Its such a rare occasson that baby slept early tonight but i just can't sleep, how to???? after what had happened????

Since i can't sleep i decide to do as much as I can to kill time. I took the cleaned warm crockery out of the dish washer and arranged them nicely in the cupboard just like Bree in Desperate Housewives but much much faster. And put tonight's dinner back in it.

I set the washing machine to wash tomorrow's laundry....mostly rachel's and mine.

I cleaned the floors twice (dry then wet wipe) and sorted out the bills and whatever that had accumulated on the dining table in just a matter of days. I read the papers again, Oh its yesterday's papers now while finishing off the old bottle of red wine in the fridge as a reward for all the cleaning and packing. (not much only a third left.) My record was a bottle when i was heart broken decades ago.

Life is such an irony sometimes. Married life is like a grave as in you had to constantly "die" to yourself and esteem the other party more important than you.

And babies the "Bundle of Joy" very quickly or almost immediately becames a "Burden of Responsibilities". There are so many concerns i have about rachel.... ballet lessons, insurance, education fund, her health etc etc, and the fact that she will probably be our only child. I pray she will not grow up to be a spoilt diva. Pregnancy and child birth. Such troublesome and painful episodes are definitely not worth repeating in my life time.