2008 is ending!!!! What a dramatic year that costs me my mum, money and matrimonal home. it was an "annus horribilis". Mum died in early March after the condition deteriorated much and fast after Christmas 2007. Before we knew it she could hardly eat and her frame was that of a small teenage person. It does not take too long and soon its goodbye, funeral and ashes.
In September we moved to Neptune Court next to Mandarin Gardens. Its sad that we are leaving our matrimonal home, the love nest that we took much pain to design and furnish but we really did not have a choice since the new landlady wanted to almost double the rent. Living in the next door estate saves us $500 a month and we ended up with double floor space. My regrets are the lack of crucial facilities and amenities like swimming pool, sauna and steam, gym and much needed covered walkway in this retirement ville.
Its funny but after I pumped in much $, from my mum's estate into the stock market with a medium to long term view for the sake of Rachel's future, the credit crisis spreads. I lost a few thousand. At the same time, many students decided not to continue their lessons and we had our family income almost halved despite over tithing 12% this year. The financial stress caused us to lapsed all insurance plans once again and be behind in payments including rent. This sort of led Yan to want to return to the professional working world for some form of financial stability.
Yan will start January 2009 with a new career doing something that he was trained in -architecture. Whereas I will continue into the same year with more chores including that of my dad's house and the ever heavy and lonely yet honourable responsibility of home schooling our only child. So far Rachel is liken to a Spongebob that very eagerly learns whatever is being taught and she excels in art and music. In fact, i am now her full time music teacher as well due to budget concerns.
Will i be able to do well musically in 2009? Its my goal to play so much better and I really need to find time to practice and experiment on my beloved instrument. Will 2009 be another hectic year when I try to take care of my dad by travelling to Sengkang often and spending time with him while juggling the ever increasing chores, with ironing yan's many work shirts and pants thrown in. Am i going to live life with my child alone most of the time either at home, in dad's place or in the malls until we have funds for her classes likely, swimming, art, Chinese, French, ballet (optional). It seemed we are living in very different worlds.
Nothing matters more now than Rachel's happiness and future...........
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Tuesday, 18 November 2008
5 years of grace
We just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. Its not a major celebration though, more like an opportunity to eat out at rachel's favourite Sakae Sushi at Parkway Parade which we hadn't been visiting for a long, long time.
Well I married my long time male buddy, 3 years younger than me at 30. The year 2003 was full of excitement, with a new home in mandarin gardens bought a few months before our marriage was solemnised on 15 Nov 2003. Both of us were working then. He was doing project management in Far East pte ltd and I was with the largest bank DBS doing what i do best at work : selling financial products - Nope I did not sell any Lehman Brothers products, I left the bank prematurely due to extreme work stress and pregnancy bleeding in Sep 2004, unfortunately without the maternity benefits that we needed much for the new born.
By then Yan had completed his two year bond at Far East for his architecture masters scholarship and with music being his main passion, he decided to be a full time piano tutor. The sudden fall in income and the gradual increase in baby expenses did make life tougher. We had debts, mortgage loan of which the interest was increasing at short notice all the time. Life was made harder when my mother was diagnosed with end stage colon cancer and had intensive chemotheraphy for almost 3 years after surgery to remove the affected colon, part of the bladder, the entire reproductive organs as a precautionary measure.
With my mum not well and his mum suffering Parkinson's. I had the honour and the torture of caring for my newborn since day one after being discharged from the hospital. When rachel was about 18 months we did send her to childcare for almost 10months only to withdraw since she was so sickly and had to be hospitalised not once, but thrice adding to all the financial burden. Perhaps 2005 was the most terrible year when the sole breadwinner Yan was not able to work for a month due to suspected dengue fever. Things got better after we sold the matrimonial home to repay the outstanding loans, debts and our family's share of 25% of my mum's hefty chemo bill, which is like $8000 every other month. or $24000 min per cycle of treatment.
This year 2008 was not a good one either. My mum passed on in March and soon the credit crisis saw our income and various investments suddenly halved. Being loyal tithers, we are certain that God will not let us down and will provide all that we need. We tried to lower even further our family lifestyles and be positive while juggling the bills.
Indeed, married life is full of challenges. One moment you are renovating your matrimonial home and the next you are renting some one else's apartment. One moment I was shopping for baby things like prams, cots, Bumbo chair, high chair, nursing equipment and accessories and the next I am shopping with Rachel, usually books, art and craft material and toys with money from ebaying and flea marketing those baby items.
So much had changed in just 5 years, In the place of a svelt and sexy figure , clear complexion is hormonal weight gain, thank God not a lot and pimples....OUCH. I never had pimples in my teens guess God is fair!!! I used to love dresses, ya..skimpy material or tight fitting ones that showcase the lingerie perfect hour glass but now, I am in mostly sporty attire-ready to run errands and after my sprinting toddler.
I miss those days when I could shop all day from orchard to suntec city and lug lots of prized hunting home. Or spend half a day or so rejuvenating at the spas or getting my hair done. Now I have learnt to be content to loiter around toy departments and hang around book shops, the children's section, that is!!! for a much needed moment of peace within.
Instead of $12 western brunches, I now cook meals that I never imagined I could. I miss holidays but I have learnt to enjoy the Singapore that is and will always be my home.
5 is a number of Grace and I thank God for the past 5 years of grace. I strongly believe the next 5 years will be even better because my Lord is a God of Grace. And as a good and loving heavenly Father, he has already provided what we need and want...........way in advance. Thank you Father God
Well I married my long time male buddy, 3 years younger than me at 30. The year 2003 was full of excitement, with a new home in mandarin gardens bought a few months before our marriage was solemnised on 15 Nov 2003. Both of us were working then. He was doing project management in Far East pte ltd and I was with the largest bank DBS doing what i do best at work : selling financial products - Nope I did not sell any Lehman Brothers products, I left the bank prematurely due to extreme work stress and pregnancy bleeding in Sep 2004, unfortunately without the maternity benefits that we needed much for the new born.
By then Yan had completed his two year bond at Far East for his architecture masters scholarship and with music being his main passion, he decided to be a full time piano tutor. The sudden fall in income and the gradual increase in baby expenses did make life tougher. We had debts, mortgage loan of which the interest was increasing at short notice all the time. Life was made harder when my mother was diagnosed with end stage colon cancer and had intensive chemotheraphy for almost 3 years after surgery to remove the affected colon, part of the bladder, the entire reproductive organs as a precautionary measure.
With my mum not well and his mum suffering Parkinson's. I had the honour and the torture of caring for my newborn since day one after being discharged from the hospital. When rachel was about 18 months we did send her to childcare for almost 10months only to withdraw since she was so sickly and had to be hospitalised not once, but thrice adding to all the financial burden. Perhaps 2005 was the most terrible year when the sole breadwinner Yan was not able to work for a month due to suspected dengue fever. Things got better after we sold the matrimonial home to repay the outstanding loans, debts and our family's share of 25% of my mum's hefty chemo bill, which is like $8000 every other month. or $24000 min per cycle of treatment.
This year 2008 was not a good one either. My mum passed on in March and soon the credit crisis saw our income and various investments suddenly halved. Being loyal tithers, we are certain that God will not let us down and will provide all that we need. We tried to lower even further our family lifestyles and be positive while juggling the bills.
Indeed, married life is full of challenges. One moment you are renovating your matrimonial home and the next you are renting some one else's apartment. One moment I was shopping for baby things like prams, cots, Bumbo chair, high chair, nursing equipment and accessories and the next I am shopping with Rachel, usually books, art and craft material and toys with money from ebaying and flea marketing those baby items.
So much had changed in just 5 years, In the place of a svelt and sexy figure , clear complexion is hormonal weight gain, thank God not a lot and pimples....OUCH. I never had pimples in my teens guess God is fair!!! I used to love dresses, ya..skimpy material or tight fitting ones that showcase the lingerie perfect hour glass but now, I am in mostly sporty attire-ready to run errands and after my sprinting toddler.
I miss those days when I could shop all day from orchard to suntec city and lug lots of prized hunting home. Or spend half a day or so rejuvenating at the spas or getting my hair done. Now I have learnt to be content to loiter around toy departments and hang around book shops, the children's section, that is!!! for a much needed moment of peace within.
Instead of $12 western brunches, I now cook meals that I never imagined I could. I miss holidays but I have learnt to enjoy the Singapore that is and will always be my home.
5 is a number of Grace and I thank God for the past 5 years of grace. I strongly believe the next 5 years will be even better because my Lord is a God of Grace. And as a good and loving heavenly Father, he has already provided what we need and want...........way in advance. Thank you Father God
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